


Tortured Within

by TheDarkestDearie



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-05-01 06:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5195423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestDearie/pseuds/TheDarkestDearie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan Gold is seduced and kidnapped by the beautiful, troubled Lacey. She's psycho but underneath all of that chaos, anger, and promiscuity is Belle, the part of her that died when "the torture" happened. Lacey is looking to free herself from those memories and anything that reminds her of "them". She believes that killing powerful men like Ronan is the key to freeing herself.. But things don't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Baby, I'm already dead..

He couldn't move freely. He had a hangover. It hurt his head to open his eyes to the light. He couldn't move his hands. No matter how hard he pulled. They were tied to the metal bars of a bed post. The rope dug into his skin. He didn't panic, though.

Ronan Gold, the dark one, didn't panic. How did he get here? He tried to remember last night. He didn't drink _too_ much. So why did he feel so groggy? He searched his mind thoroughly. There was a girl. He could see her brown hair, falling into loose curls around her waist.. He remembered her clearly now. He was at the bar. Alone. She had sat next to him and ordered a whiskey. Odd drink of choice for a girl. Only she wasn't like the other girls. She was wild. He was used to women flirting with him because he had money. But she didn't just flirt with him. He caught her piercing gaze with his peripheral vision.

"See something you like dearie?" he asked with a slight annoyance.

"Yes." She replied simply and boldly. He turned to look at her, surprised and impressed at her bluntness. He meant to make some rude comment but the words got lost on his tongue when he saw how beautiful she was and how blue her eyes were. She was young and he gained his composure after a second of wondering why  _she_ was eyeing  _him._ She grinned at him wickedly. Amused at his surprise.

"Well, I'm not looking for  _company._ But I'm sure those men over there would be more than happy to pay you for yours." He assumed she was a hooker based off her short, body hugging dress and stiletto heels. The thought made her mad but she couldn't let it show. She had come too far to ruin it so she let it slide.

"I'm not looking for  _company._ At least not that kind.. I'm no hooker.. Just lonely.."

"What's your name?" He asked suddenly with a hint of demand in his voice. He had caught a slight hint of an Australian accent. He shifted in his seat to face her more comfortably.

"Lacey." She smiled at him.

"Well, Lacey, what's a pretty, young thing like you doing looking for company in a man like me? Surely, there's boys more suited for you around here." His Scottish accent was smooth and she found him intriguing.

"Oh, there are." She admitted. "But I don't want them. I'm afraid they can't handle me. They bore me." She moved closer to him. It was a battle of wills. He stared into her eyes, searching for a weakness so that he could teach her a lesson. To be careful who you mess around with. He searched for a young girl with low self-esteem and daddy issues. But all he saw in them was a fire. She wanted to play. So did he.

"And what is it you think I can do for you?" His voice became smoother, like honey. It made her heart rate quicken just a bit. His finely-tailored, likely expensive, suit and shoulder length, golden brown hair with graying at the ends and temples also did the trick. He was very handsome, even with the fact that he walked with a cane.  _You have a job to do,_ she thought to herself,  _don't fall into his trap._ She finished the rest of her whiskey and licked her lips. He glanced quickly at her mouth as her tongue made its way across her lips. She leaned into him.

"Buy me a drink and find out." She purred into his ear. The game was on. He motioned for the bartender and they both drank. Neither of them broke but they were both feeling elated from the drinking. Then things got a little frisky. They ended up in the alleyway of the bar, making out furiously. Lacey ran her hands through his hair and he pressed her more firmly against him. Her hips ground into his and she let out a moan when she felt the stiffness in his trousers. His hands roamed her body and the heat in between her legs intensified.  _The job. You don't have long._

She pulled away and gazed into his eyes. "Take me home." She kissed him again and pulled away before it could intensify. Usually, he would have taken a girl to a hotel. But she offered up her place and getting a room would take up time. And he was too deep into this game with her and too overcome with lust so he agreed.

She took a cab to the bar so they took his car. He drove as fast he could as she gave him directions. Throughout the ride, she teased him. Placing her hand on his thigh and moving it higher and higher until she was so close to his manhood. Then she returned her hand to herself and played with the hemline of her already short dress, hiking it up just high enough so that her underwear wasn't visible yet, but still left a man wanting more. They pulled into the driveway of her small home. It was on a pretty decent stretch of land. The nearest neighbor was about half a mile away. For a moment, he thought,  _why would a girl so young live in a place so remote?_ All thoughts were driven away as she pulled him into another kiss. Once they were in the house, he pressed her against the door and ran his hands on her body. She let him indulge himself. She liked it. And phase one was almost complete anyway.

Ronan's head was fuzzy. He felt strange and pulled away.

"What's happening?" he asked. Things were getting out of focus. Lacey smiled.

"Come on." She grabbed his hand and led him to sit on the couch. She straddled his legs. He was feeling heavy. His instincts kicked in and he grabbed her hands.

"What did you do?" he growled. She was getting out of focus as well. She giggled and pinned his arms against the couch.

"It's okay, baby. We're gonna have some fun." He tried to push her off but he was feeling weak and everything was going dark until he was finally consumed by the blackness.

That's how Ronan ended up tied to the metal bars of a head rest. He was fuming. He was the bloody dark one and he let himself be tricked by Lacey. As though on cue, she opened the door and walked in.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed. "Good. I wasn't sure when you'd wake up."

"What do you want?" He asked, sharply. She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed.

"To be free." She answered darkly and stared at him and studied his face curiously, as though he were some foreign attraction. He never broke eye contact with her. She wouldn't see him break.

"Let me go. Let me go now and I'll give you a chance to run before I kill you." He growled.

"Kill me?" She laughed. "Baby, I'm already dead. And why would I let you go, Ronan?" she laughed. "The fun hasn't even started."


	2. Much Darker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lacey's motive for kidnapping Ronan is revealed, along with some painful details of her past. The tables turn for Lacey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lacey is just a roller coaster of emotions, the poor thing.

Ronan tried to remember something. Anything that he could use against her since, right now, words were his only weapon. He had a photographic memory, an attribute to his success. But he was drunk and drugged last night so it was harder for him to take in his surroundings. He went over the events of last night in his head. The bar. The car. Her house. He was trapped in her basement. There was nothing in here but the bed he was tied to and some books. Books. Papers. There were books on the coffee table by the couch. There was mail scattered on a hardcover English textbook. An opened envelope from a bank lied on top of the pile. There was a name. It didn't even cross his mind yesterday, he was so caught up in his drugged state. The name wasn't Lacey. It was Belle.  
She came into the basement about an hour later. She had changed into a loose band T-shirt and jeans. Her boots made a heavy sound each time she stepped.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something." He didn't answer her. She slapped him and he didn't wince. He wasn't going to show her fear. He shook his hair out of his face. She reached behind her back and pulled out a knife. "Answer me." She commanded.

"No. I'm not hungry.. Belle."

She froze. Now it was his turn to have the upper hand. He found her weakness. She became shaken, erratic.

"Where did you hear that name?" Her voice was ice.

"I have a photographic memory, dearie. You shouldn't leave your mail lying around on coffee tables if you plan on using another identity.. Belle."

"Shut up! You don't get to use that name!" Both her body and voice were trembling.

"Why not, Belle? That's your real name. That's who you are." Gold instigated. Each time he used her name, it was like a slap in her face. She pulled the knife up to his face.

"That's not me.. She's gone.. Forever." Tears started to fill her eyes and her voice was weak.

"No. You're right here. What happened to you Belle?" He was breaking her, slowly. The only way he knew how to break a person.

"Shut up.." She began to cry.

"No, Belle, I'm just getting started so tell me. Why are you dead? What do you want with me, Belle? What can pretty little Belle want with me? What happened to you Belle?! Fucking answer me Belle!!" He shouted and it was killing her.

She let out a blood-curdling scream and drove the knife into the wall right by his face. He felt satisfied. He broke her. They looked into each other's eyes and his heart suddenly dropped a little. He found her. The scared little girl he was searching for yesterday when he looked into Lacey's eyes. His face broke and he was reminded of a little boy with the same look she wore. It was a long time ago but he never thought he'd see it again. She broke eye contact at his pity and she dropped into him, half crying, half screaming in pain. He wasn't supposed to be hurting as well. He had only wanted to hurt her. And now that he had, he wished he hadn't. He knew that pain. The pain of loss that he tried desperately to forget.

"They killed her." She sobbed into his shoulder. "They killed Belle. All she did was care for them and they still killed her. She just wanted to be free." She continued to sob and a few tears escaped his eyes as well. He couldn't let her go on like this. She was too young to be this pained. Too sad and driven to madness by something eating her inside.

"Shhh.. It's okay.. I know.. It's okay." He whispered into her ear as she held onto him, desperate for comfort even if it meant clinging to the man she held captive. She couldn’t understand why he was giving her the comfort she sought, why his demeanor had changed, but she was grateful because it had been so long since someone comforted her. After minutes of sobbing and screaming, she finally started to slow down. Eventually, she let go of him. His shirt was damp from her sweat and tears. She wiped her eyes and looked at him differently. With sorrow.

"Who did you lose?" She asked, not daring to look at him once more for the fear that he'd trigger her again. He was silent. "I noticed the way you looked at me. I saw it in you too. Why else would you comfort me? You lost a part of you. Who did you lose?" She asked once more.

"My son." He answered and she paused before she spoke again.

"I'm so sorry." A little sob escaped her. She composed herself once more. "I've got to go." And she quickly walked out of the room, taking the knife with her.  
She came back a couple of hours later, as Lacey. Not broken Belle. He didn't speak. She was different this time. He knew what she was doing. She was attempting to rebuild her walls. He had done the same thing many times before.

She wore a little black dress this time. She got on the bed, straddling him till her knees were at his hips. He was feeling a slight sensation of warmth inside that he shouldn't have felt. She twirled the knife in her hands, looking like a wicked temptress dressed to kill.

"You did a very bad thing earlier, Ronan. I should make you pay.. But I won’t."

He opened his mouth so to speak but she put a finger over his mouth.

"Shhh, don't say anything... Good boy.. I'm gonna tell you a story. The story about Belle." She struggled to say the name aloud. But he didn't speak. He listened.

"In High school, Belle had a boyfriend, Gaston was his name. She was with him for almost a year and a half by the time she graduated. He came from money, old money. So did her father and he wanted her to stay with Gaston throughout college but she didn't want to. She didn't love him and all she wanted was to be with someone she loved. At 19, she refused Gaston's proposal and her father- my father was furious." She was breaking again. "He tried to force me to be with him but I wouldn't do it. You know what he did?.. He cut me off, shut me out. Left me to fight by myself. But that wasn't the worst of it. Gaston was violent, cruel. He said I was his bitch. That I had to marry him. But I still refused. I was dropping out of school, I had to get away. I was going far away from both of them. I was going to go see the world and have adventures. But with my father's approval, Gaston took me away to an abandoned house in the woods. So no one could hear me scream. He wanted to make me his slave.. To train me like a dog. He did terrible things to me. He would mark me with cuts and burns on my stomach, hips, and back. He would touch me.. I cried, screamed, prayed to be saved. But no one was there for me. I wasn't worthy of saving. I was there for a month. I barely escaped with my life. Gaston and his men followed me into the woods. Hunted me like an animal. One of his men found me and took pity on me. He told me to swim. Swim across the lake and get as far away as possible. So I did it, I jumped into the lake.

"They assumed I drowned. They still think I'm dead." She laughed. Tears falling once more. "All I did was care for them.. I loved them and they killed me. They killed Belle." She sobbed once more. "Why wasn't I good enough? Why wasn't I worthy?" She held onto him once more. He wanted to cry with her. He felt deeply sorry for her and the tragedy of her young life. But he was still tied up and she still had the knife. She was still the dangerous one. She cried for a few minutes again and when she came back up she had to rebuild her walls once more. She was becoming Lacey again.

Her eyes looked dead this time. She stared into his eyes. She began twirling the knife again. He was still, like a statue. She lightly trailed the knife on his face, following the curve of his cheekbone. The metal was cool against his warm cheek.

"Do you want to know why I brought you here?" He didn't respond to her question. She spoke anyway. "I hunted you. I heard about your power and influence. You're just like them. Your power means more to you than anything or anyone. I heard about you and I thought, if I could get rid of scum like them.. I'd be able to move on. I'd be free. I had every intention of killing you..." She started to tremble again. "But I look into your eyes, and I just can't.. Why can't I kill you?" She cried. She was breaking once more. Something about him kept making her break. He could get to her.

"I think you don't want to." He said boldly. "I don't think you want to because Belle is still there. I think she's lost and hurt, scared and alone. But Lacey protects her. Lacey makes sure Belle doesn’t get hurt anymore. Am I right Lacey?”

“I created myself. I became Lacey because Belle was too far gone. She wouldn’t have survived.” She explained. 

“Why not get revenge on them? Why use me as a surrogate?” He questioned honestly.

"My father is dying. He has a brain tumor. The bastard gets to go peacefully with no remembrance of what he consented for Gaston to do to his own daughter. Gaston, he has too much power, too much influence and protection to take on."

“Are you sure that’s why? I think you’re still scared of him. Scared of what he can do to you.”

She didn’t answer him, she only stared at him. Not admitting nor denying his assumption.

“I can help you if you want. I can get you your revenge.” Ronan continued.

“Can you really?” She asked, intrigued.

"I am the dark one." He added. "Any man or men who would hurt a woman as beautiful as you deserves whatever tragedy comes to them. I can make them pay. I can make them suffer. They deserve it." Lacey smiled at him, eyes twinkling in the gleam of the light.

"Are you trying to trick me Ronan? It won't work. You'll betray me like they all do." She trailed the middle of his chest with the knife now.

"No, I'm not. You were right about me Lacey. I do have power. I love my power. I can make- I want to make their lives a living hell." It was true. Lacey and Belle were beautiful. But he could see it every time he stared into those beautiful eyes, they were tortured. He wanted those pigs to suffer.

Lacey scanned his face. Looking for any sign of a lie. But she didn't find it. She put the knife to the side and touched his face, the stubble of his facial hair poking her fingers. She smiled mischievously.

"Tell me, dark one, are you really as dark as they say you are?" She asked, leaning into his face.

He waited for this moment. For her to put the knife and her guard down. Since he woke up, he was messing with the rope. Fidgeting, tensing, and maneuvering his hands in any way possible so as to loosen the rope. He had rope burns and bruises and his wrists were raw, he was sure of that. He had finally been able to loosen it up enough to untie himself. He smiled back at her.

"Darker, dearie," his hands moved and were now in front of him, "much darker." Lacey realized what was wrong but it was too late. Before she could reach the knife, Gold had punched her in the face and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized there is a lot of dialogue in this story. Is that cool? Do you like a lot of dialogue or is it too much? Let me know what y'all think. Feedback is always appreciated (:


	3. Road to Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gold makes a generous deal with Lacey.

He was home. He missed it so much because he wasn't sure he'd ever see it again. When Gold got Lacey settled in, he took a shower, got dressed, and ate. It felt amazing to be in control and he never wanted to lose it again. He went down to his basement when he was settled in and ready. He sat in a chair in the shadowy corner and watched her sleep. She was very beautiful and peaceful in her sleep. There was a bruise forming where he hit her. He didn't want to hit her, but he didn't have the luxury of lacing her drink to knock her unconscious. Despite the shit she put him through, he was about to show mercy to this person who wronged him.. Something he had never done before.

Eventually, Lacey began to stir and she woke up in pain. "No.. Not again.." she whimpered and began pulling at the handcuffs that bound her to a hook on the ceiling, only her toes touched the ground.

"Don't pull too hard dearie, you'll hurt yourself." She stopped and glared at the man stepping out of the shadows. She hid all signs of distress and smirked at the sight of Ronan, putting on that mask that Lacey wore so well.

"Well, it looks the big bad wolf wants to play... You are as dark as they say." She shifted her hands in the handcuffs trying to maneuver them out but they were too tight. Gold smirked this time. "Where am I?" She asked.

"My territory, sweetheart." He said coolly.

"I suppose you're gonna kill me now?" She questioned amusedly.

"No Belle." She gave him a look of death and he cocked his head in resignation, "alright, Lacey.. I don't want to kill you. I want to make a deal." She was surprised at this revelation.

"Ah, the dark one wants to make one of his famous deals. What could you possibly want from me?"

“I want to help you.”

"You can't help me." She spat back.

"Actually I think I can. I want to give you something I’ve never given anyone. A chance.”

"I hurt you. I held you captive. I wanted to kill you, dark one.. So why not kill me? Why give me a chance?" She asked seriously.

"For the same reason you didn't kill me.. You couldn't. I can't kill you. I've harmed many people in my life before and I probably will in the future. But, I don't know, there's something about y-" He caught himself before he could say more. Lacey's face had softened and so did her demeanor. She knew what he meant. He saw the understanding in her face so he didn't feel like he completely fucked up. He cleared his throat.

"I’m giving you a chance because I want to. Yesterday, there was a look of helplessness on your face that I never thought I’d see again. The last time I saw that look and didn’t help, I lost my son. I want to help you so that maybe I can find that road to redemption.” There was a pause. He was being very honest and she understood. He continued by changing the subject, “So about this deal I'm going to make with you.. I need to know one thing.. What do you want most?"

She thought about it, but she couldn't quite grasp the question.

"I don't understand.." She said weakly.

"For every person, there is one thing in their life they want most, whether it be money, power, glory, happiness, you name it. So what is it that you want?"

Lacey thought long and hard. She thought about all of the shit she- of all the shit Belle went through. She thought about why she left school, why she left her father, and why she became Lacey. She thought about how she wanted every memory of Gaston to be eradicated from her history. And she knew what she wanted. She swallowed hard as a tear escaped.

"A fresh start." She said sincerely.

"Okay. Well then, let's discuss the terms and conditions of this deal. I will help give you this fresh start. But you have to stay here with me. Especially, since you're losing your house and that small trust your mother secretly set up for you is going dry.. Oh yeah, I know about that. I've got connections. I also like to think of you being here as an insurance policy. Considering the ordeals we've put each other through, I think it best we don't stray too far for now. Added to that insurance policy, neither of us is to tell anyone, especially authorities, about these past few nights. Got it? Oh, and when I let you out of these cuffs, don't try anything. You'll regret it as soon as you do. You will have your own room here. I will take care of you until we can get you to your fresh start. Any questions?"

She was silent for a moment, processing every single thing he just said. "So, basically, I'm your prisoner, your possession, until you can figure out what to do with me?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes." He agreed. "It's that or you stay in here until I can figure out what to do with you, and I assure you, it won't be pleasant dearie.. Do we have a deal?"

She was cornered.. She had to agree or she'd rot down here. If she said yes, she'd at least have a fresh start. She'd have a new life.

"Yes, Ronan, we have a deal." She resigned.

"Alright then, let's get you out of here, shall we?" He grabbed the keys from his trouser pocket. "Remember, try anything and you'll regret it. I've got surveillance around the property and there's security. So if you try to run, you won't get far." He warned.

Gold let her out of the cuffs and she fell into him; her legs were asleep. He held her up and she held onto him, their eyes met and she saw genuine concern in them. She couldn’t believe it. The man she intended to kill just yesterday was helping her. She straightened herself so that she didn’t put too much weight on him, given he had a bad leg. She let go of him when she finally gained feeling back in her legs.

“Are you cold?” He asked her, noticing the goosebumps on her arm. She was still in her short, black dress and the basement was freezing but she wasn’t entirely sure that was the only cause of her goosebumps..

“Not really.” She lied. He took off the jacket to his suit and put it around her.

"Thank you.. For this and for helping Belle." She said apprehensively. "And I'm sorry.. For everything."

He was shocked at the admission and didn't really know what to say. "I'm helping you Lacey." He added. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up and fed and then you can rest." They were both exhausted. Lacey walked out of the basement with Gold and was in awe of his house. She had only seen the concrete walls around the property, not the property itself. But the inside was huge and luxurious. If he wasn't being so generous, she would have made some sort of remark about how ostentatious everything was. He led her to a bathroom where some of her clothes were already on the counter. He left her to shower.

When she finished what was probably the best shower she ever had, she put on the sheer light blue nightie. It was a bit skimpy but she didn't care. She wanted to sleep comfortably and it was her favorite. Gold was waiting for her in the hallway. He tried to hide his shocked face but he wasn't quick enough. Lacey smirked on the inside. He hadn't expected her to come out like that. He walked her to the kitchen and they both ate a sandwich. Neither of them said a word. When she finished, he showed Lacey her bedroom upstairs.

"I'll show you the rest of the place later. For now, get some rest." She stepped inside and the room was so luxurious and warm.

"The dark one has a knack for interior decorating." She said deadpanned.

"Sleep Lacey." He commanded, unimpressed with her joke. He closed the door and she was so tired, she didn't even have the energy to mind when he locked the door. She snuggled in between the comforter and sleep was instantaneous.

When she woke up, Gold showed her around the property. The house had 5 bedrooms. There was a live in maid, named Ashley, who lived in one of the two guest houses. And a guard named Graham who lived in the other. He showed her the door to his office, where he spent most of his time and there was another room not far from it. It had the Letter B hanging on it and there was a drawing of a sword next to it. He dragged her away before she could get a better look at it.

It wasn't so bad staying there. If he, or Graham, didn't constantly have an eye on her, she might actually enjoy herself. Her favorite room was the dining room, where there was a fully stocked bar and a vinyl record player. She'd have to sneak in there soon. Other than Ashley and Graham, he lived alone. But there were occasions when "associates" or employees of his would stay in a spare room.

He took the liberty of having all of her books from her old place delivered to her, along with some boxes of old memorabilia. He really did have connections if he was able to get most of her stuff here discretely and in a short amount of time, she thought. She didn't allow herself to get comfortable though. Pretty soon she’d be gone. She had no place here and wasn’t sure if she wanted to belong here.


	4. Bad Nights, Bad Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gold suggests that Lacey get professional help. Lacey has a bad night and dreams about the night she escaped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of a short chapter but I liked writing it (:

Lacey didn't know how to act around Gold. Her instinct was to be hostile and uncooperative but he was trying to help her. So Lacey settled for the next best thing, she acted distant. She stayed in her room mostly. She was sleeping more, sort of. Instead of her usual 3 to 4 hours, she would get about 5 or 6, on a good day. The past couple of years for her had been virtually sleepless if she wasn't passed out drunk. Although she was still drinking, she didn't drink enough to get her passed out. So most of her time was spent attempting to sleep and reading books.

She felt incredibly guilty. She tried not to let it show. It was difficult for her knowing she was indebted to him. Some nights, on bad nights, she wished he had killed her. How could she have let herself become so disoriented and delusional as to think killing an innocent man was going to make her better? Well, innocent for crimes against her. She hadn’t slept for days before that. It wasn’t an excuse, just something to consider.

One night, while she was having a late dinner alone in the kitchen, Gold stumbled in and joined her. He poured wine for her and she accepted, though she wanted something stronger. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eye and she downed the glass of wine. He poured her some more and continued to drink.

"How are you adjusting Lacey?" he asked.

"Good, I guess. I mean, as good as anyone in my situation can get."

"Alright. Well, I think we should discuss something.. The deal."

"Okay." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"I think you need psychological help. A doctor."

"Excuse me?" She said defensively.

"You're lying to yourself if you say you don't need it. Before I can help you with your fresh start, there's some issues you have to deal with. Earnest Hemingway said, _you can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another_. You know that's true. So starting tomorrow, a Dr. Hopper will be coming by to talk to you. Is that okay with you?" From his tone, it was obvious she didn't have a choice. And she knew he was right. She had to stop running.

"You really trust _me_ to talk with some stranger, given our rather unique situation?" She smiled mischievously.

"Well, considering you have a lot to lose if you break the deal, yes. But it'd be very unwise and pointless to tell him. He's in my pocket, dearie." He said snidely. Her composure didn't break but she hated losing to him.

"Good to know.. Now, if that's all you wanted to say-"

"Actually, there's something I want to ask you." He interrupted. Her silence was his cue. "Why didn't you go to the police? After what they did to you?" His bluntness caught her off guard. He was curious to know though. He wanted to understand her.

"Why do you want to know?" She managed to speak.

"I'm just curious.." She thought about it.

"They have money and influence. I was a young, _impressionable_ girl to them. They could easily say I was crazy and have me committed."

"But you had marks on your body. Surely, that was enough evidence to commit an investigation."

"They'd say it was self-inflicted. They weren't stupid. They took precautions. I was the town anomaly. From the moment I was born, my entire future was planned out for me, all I had to do was follow that path. But I didn't. I didn't want to marry the rich boy to keep up the family legacy. I loved to read and write. I wanted to travel, to see the world. And then my mom died and my father pressed even harder to decide my own fate. But no one decides that but me. I needed to get as far away from that poison as possible so I faked my own death. They'd never look for me, nor I them. At least until I found the strength and means to do so. If I'd have gone to the authorities, they'd have shut me up one way or another. I didn't want to take that chance. Does that answer your question?" She was shaking with anger.

"Yes, indeed." He said smoothly.

"Great, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed." She grabbed the bottle of wine and walked away.

"That's mine." He called after her.

"Is it? Well, if you want it back, you'll have to fight me for it." And she walked out without another word. She downed the rest of the bottle once in her room and fell asleep.

_She was back on the table. They strapped her extra tight and left her in only her underwear and bra. She was crying because she knew what was coming. She wasn't gagged. Gaston liked to hear her scream._

_"What'll it be today, baby Belle? Scalpel or hot wire?" He asked. She sobbed and shook her head. Her other wounds hadn't healed yet. She was tired of the pain. "Have you had enough of this cleansing?" he added. She didn't respond. "No? All you have to do is say yes and marry me... Alright, then. Suit yourself. Scalpel it is. But I'm feeling artistic today. How about I carve the word 'Bitch'? ‘Slut’? No. Something longer.. Oh! I've got it! Try not to squirm too much baby Belle? This is gonna be messy."_

_She screamed herself hoarse with agony. He finished and left her with blood all over her stomach. He kissed her on the lips and left her whimpering in pain. The word 'worthless' freshly carved on her side..._

_She was running barefoot. It was pouring rain. She was dirty all over. Her dress was tattered and torn. It was loose because she was skin and bone now. She couldn't breathe and her body ached but she couldn't stop. She wouldn't stop. Her boney legs were carrying her as quickly as they could. She heard rustling ahead of her and a guy with dirty blonde hair and a crossbow in his arms appeared. She stopped dead in her tracks. She was done for. He didn't say anything. He just stared at her. He saw the look of panic and desperation in her eyes. She was emaciated and looked as though she'd pass out at any moment._

_"Can you swim?" He asked her._

_"What?" She croaked, confused._

_"Swim? Can you swim?" He said hurriedly._

_"Yes." She replied quickly._

_"Okay, keep going straight. There's a lake ahead. Swim across it, run, get out of here, and whatever you do don't come back. I'll tell them you drowned. Got it?" He asked quickly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He was helping her. She nodded yes, tears in her eyes. "Okay, go! Now!"_

_She took off at break neck speed. She was getting out. She reaches the lake. This is it. She's seen this part. She's relived this moment more than she can count. She's about to jump into the lake. But it's different this time. Arms grab her and she's screaming, flailing, and kicking._

_"You're going to get it now Belle!." Gaston laughs maniacally. She screams bloody murder._

"Lacey! Wake up!" Gold was shaking her. She opened her eyes but she was still in a panic and screaming. She focused on his face and realized she was dreaming. She did jump the lake. She got away. Her screams of terror turned into uncontrollable sobs.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed into his shoulder as he pulled her in. "I'm sorry!"

"It's okay.. It was just a dream." He tried to comfort her.

"No! Not for that.. I'm s-sorry for everything I d-did to you. I did to you exactly what they did to me. I became a m-monster! It's my fault and I-I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry." She continued to sob strangled, broken cries into his shoulder, much like the ones she cried when he broke her in her basement.

"Shhh.. It's okay. I forgive you, Lacey. You're okay. You're safe." He continued to comfort her and she kept on crying. Finally, Graham stormed in and Ashley was right behind him.

"Is everything okay?!" He asked, confused at the scene.

"Yeah, it's alright Graham. We're good." He assured them. "Lacey, we've got to get you up." It was then that she realized she was on the floor. She must've fallen in her sleep.

He helped her up with little difficulty, despite his bum leg. He had Graham escort her downstairs and into the kitchen. He instructed Ashley to make her tea, and only tea.

She sat on a stool at the kitchen counter, disoriented. She stared at the tiles on the counter, following the geometric patterns and reciting Robert Frost's _Stooping by Woods on a Snowy Evening_ quietly to calm her down. She listened to the noise Ashley was making in the kitchen, it was comforting not sitting in silence. She was in her pajamas. She finally gave her a cup of tea. Lacey took a sip of it, not even asking what it was.

"You don't have anything stronger? Perhaps with alcohol?" She asked, coming out of her trance.

"Sorry, sweetie. Only tea. Mr. Gold's orders."

"It's better for you." They both turned around to find Gold at the doorway, cane in hand. "You're excused Ashley." She walked away and Gold sat on the stool next to Lacey after he poured himself a cup. They sat in silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry, for waking you." She said, still a bit disoriented.

"I was already up. I had some last minute business to attend to and was barely arriving when I heard you scream.. What was it about, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It was about the night I escaped. Only, I didn't escape. Gaston grabbed me before I could jump in the lake. I didn't get away." She found herself answering before she could second guess herself.

"It's a good thing it was just a dream then."

"Yeah.. But sometimes, I wish they had killed me. It would've saved me all of this suffering, all of this trouble." She hadn't meant to say that out loud. She was too out of it to think properly.

"Lacey-" She didn't let him finish whatever comforting words he was going to say.

"Sometimes, I just miss how things were. Actually, I just miss her. Belle was so simple. She wanted to go to school and become a book editor. Life is cruel that way. She was trapped. But she had so much she wanted to do. I'm free and I have nothing."

Gold was shocked at her openness but he could hear how empty and distant she sounded. She was so far away from herself that she had little to no difficulty saying what she thought. He sat silently and listened. It was like reading from her diary, or eavesdropping on some intimate part of her life that he was sure regular Lacey wouldn't want him to know. She stopped talking for a moment and asked, "What time will Dr. Hopper be here?"

"Around 2."

"I better get to bed then. Thanks for the tea. Goodnight Ronan." She kissed him on the cheek and he reddened slightly at the surprise.

"Goodnight Lace." She walked out, feeling like a zombie and fell asleep once her head hit the pillow. She didn't dream. Her mind was clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!! Oh, and I believe next chapter contains smut (;


	5. Big Bad Wolf, Indeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan catches Lacey in a vulnerable state and hormones take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smuttiness ensues ;)

      Lacey woke up and felt ashamed at her episode yesterday. But she'd rather forget about it than dwell on it, especially after she'd been so open with Gold. She kissed him on the cheek! It was a harmless gesture but still made her stomach knot.

 

      She put on some high-waisted shorts and a fitted, black top to go with it. Most of her clothes were rather skimpy but she didn't mind too much. Especially when she could see how tense it made Gold.  She found it amusing. He was so conservative. Always covered up in a suit and always so composed. So when she walked around in what could scarcely be called clothes, she wasn't sure if she offended him or attracted him. Maybe both?

 

     She went downstairs and tried to grab something to eat but nothing suited her fancy so she grabbed a beer instead. She had barely taken a sip when she heard his voice at the doorway.

 

     "It's not even noon yet." He pointed at her beer.

 

     "I guess that means I have some catching up to do." She smirked and took another swig. "You just gonna stand there and stare or are you gonna sit down and lecture me on alcoholism?"

 

     "I see you're feeling like your old self then?" He remarked and stepped closer to her. He took her beer from her hand. "Wouldn't want you to speak to Dr. Hopper drunk, now would we?"

 

     "Who knows? Maybe it'll lower my inhibitions and get me to confess all of my sins and wrongdoings." She flashed him that wicked grin.

 

     "You can't confess  _all_  of your sins and wrongdoings." He mentioned.

 

     "Oh, no. Of course not, there's far too many; I'm afraid he'd go mad before I could get halfway through the list.." She took her beer back from his hand. "Thanks for your concern. But I'll be fine." She was standing incredibly close to him, testing the boundaries. She looked him in the eye and then scanned the rest of his body, head to toe, blatantly checking him out in his expensive suit. His eyes never left her face. She winked at him and walked away. He watched her curiously as she left the room, his eyes lingering on her slim legs. She was playing with him again. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.

 

       Lacey definitely found him attractive but she wasn't sure if she was flirting with him because it was fun and she was bored, or if it was because she felt a connection or attachment to him. He would never want her in an intimate relationship-that she was sure of. After all, how could he ever want to be with the woman who tried to kill him? But she did catch him staring at her a couple of times. The attraction was probably more physical though. She wasn’t going to kid herself, she knew how guys thought. And although messing with him was fun, it was also dangerous. And Lacey certainly loves the thrill.

 

     Two o'clock came faster than she thought. Before she knew it, she was in a room with a red haired man in a suit and rectangular glasses. Attractive in a dorky way, but not her type. They didn't discuss her reasons for staying with Gold. They just discussed her and her feelings.

 

     "I heard you had a nightmare yesterday." He said inquisitively.

 

     "Yeah, I did."

 

     "Do you want to talk about it?"

 

     "Not really."

 

     "Do you have those types of nightmares often?"

 

     "Sometimes."

 

     "Okay. Well, do you stress alot? I often recommend that patients find stress relieving activities like exercise or drawing or, really, any form of creative expression."

 

     "I like to read." She mentioned. He went on to talk about how reading would be a good stress reliever but that she should also try something physical like exercise. Their session ended and she was relieved. She was tired of talking. Discussing her feelings was not easy for her. It’s easier to keep them bottled up and act like they don’t bother you.

    

        Lacey was in her laced underwear and a Van Halen shirt that stopped right above her hips when she was lying in bed that night. She was finishing off a book but what she really wanted was a drink. She had been sneaking around late at night into the dining room to have a couple of drinks from the bar. No one ever caught her. She went down and quietly headed for the bar. She had closed the door behind her without looking and didn't see Ronan sitting at the far end of the table working on some paperwork. They both looked up at each other. Lacey was surprised and embarrassed at first, but played it off as though walking around half-naked was no big deal. ‘ _What the fuck was I thinking?’_ Her inner self thought. Gold looked just as shocked but also amused. He'd have the upper hand in this game. The only thing different about him was that the jacket to his suit was hanging on the back of his chair, leaving him in his black dress shirt.

 

     "So the big bad wolf is out of his cave." She said coolly.

 

     "Aye, and little red is out and about, quite vulnerable and exposed I might add.. Surely, you own actual clothes, Lacey."

 

     "Oh yeah. But I figure, this body won't last forever. May as well enjoy it and have fun while I can. Besides, I didn't expect to run into anyone at 2 in the morning down here. Don’t you have an office?"

 

     "Yes but I sometimes like to work in here. So you've come to have at the bar again, right?"

 

     “So you know I’ve been drinking up your liquor?”

 

     “Well this is my house. I know everything that goes on around here.”

 

     "Well, someone has to make use of all this." She reasoned and went to the bar and served herself some whiskey. She felt him watching her and knew she was going to have fun messing with him. She went up to him and offered him a sip.

 

     "You first." He commanded. She rolled her eyes and took a sip. He took the cigarette he was smoking out of his mouth and drank.

 

     "What are you working on?" She asked.

 

     "Drafting a contract." He handed her the whiskey and she drank. She stood right next to him in her black laced underwear, bending slightly to look at his work.

 

     "Is that loophole there on purpose?" She pointed to a small, fine-print section.

 

     "They are my specialty."

 

     "Aren't you cunning? Is that how the dark one rose to power?"

 

     "Among the various ways, sure."

 

     "Ooh, and what are these various ways?"

 

     "Can't tell you, dearie." he smirked. The fun was beginning. She grabbed his cigarette, sat on his lap, took a drag, and handed it back. She was so swift and he didn't see it coming, he had no clue what to do. His body stiffened but he retained his composure as best as he could.

 

     "Law was always a fascinating subject to me. All of the logic and reasoning required isn't something you find in the average person." She said airily.

 

     "Not all people are as aware and analytic. Speaking of analytic, how was your appointment with the doctor?" She almost slipped up. She didn't want to talk about it.

 

     "Good." She had a glint in her eye that Gold couldn't see and it'd send shivers down his spine if he did. She leaned back against Ronan, her back to his chest, enjoying the physical intimacy and feeling him tense up a bit more. She smelled sweet like roses and it was intoxicating him more than he cared to admit. "He's not that bad to talk to. In fact, he suggested that I find stress relieving activities to help with the nightmares." She got off of him and he felt cold due to the lack of extra body heat and relief, but the relief didn't last long. As swiftly as she sat the first time, she was now straddling him. The lounge chair was big enough to balance her weight on his. It took everything in him not to react too quickly and hastily. "He said that I should start  _exercising._ I'm not much of a jogger but I could think of  _other_ ways to get my cardio in. You do want to help me, after all, don't you?" She asked with perverse innocence.

 

     "You know, the last time we were in this position, it didn't end well for the both of us." His voice was husky and thick and it made her abdomen tingle.

 

     "Hmm, is the big bad wolf afraid?" She asked playfully.

 

     He let out a soft chuckle and intently met her eyes. "Afraid? No. Wary? Yes." He upped the stakes by placing a hand above her knee that lightly made its way to her thigh. Her knees were weakening. They were in too deep. The lust and tension was growing too heavily between them.

 

     She put her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through the graying ends of his hair. Her face was so close to his and their eyes never left each other's faces. "You have the power here, dark one. You've nothing to worry about.. You know, that night at the bar, I wasn't pretending to want you. I really did want you. I really do." She whispered into his ear and now it was his turn to get weak.

 

     "You're playing a very dangerous game here Lacey." He warned.

 

     "Here I thought we were playing together. I know it's dangerous, but why not have some fun?" She started kissing his neck, craving more affection.

 

     "You  _really_  want to do this?" He asked, trailing both hands further up her legs.

 

     "God yes." She whispered lustfully. Her lips met his and the game was forgotten at his tobacco and whiskey taste. Now they were just trying to get more of one another and at this point, neither could resist the other. Lacey sealed the deal when she shifted her hips further into him and against his erection. The friction made them both groan. She lightly started to grind against him. She had to have more of him. He pulled away from her kiss and they stared at the pure need in each other's eyes.

 

     "Bedroom." He commanded. She nodded yes and they were off to his bedroom. His room was huge but his crimson silk bed was all she cared for at the moment. He sat down on the edge and they resumed their previous position. They were on fire. She pressed her body against his. She wasn't wearing a bra so he could feel the tenderness of her breasts beneath the fabric. He cupped one above her flimsy shirt and she let out a moan. She began to undo his tie.

 

     He held onto her and flipped her on her back so that he was now on top of her. He snaked his hand down to the lace of her underwear and cupped her sex. She was so warm and wet. She responded to his touch by grinding against him and unbuttoning his dress shirt. She was halfway done when his hand left her underwear and went to her hip underneath her shirt. She gasped and grabbed his wrist.

 

     "Don't!" She begged. "It's disgusting." He met her eyes and they were watery. He gave her a determined look and continued to move his hand. He could feel the raised skin on her stomach, tensing at his touch on the sensitive tissue of her scars. He kissed her on the lips and her breasts eventually met his hand, with no barrier of her shirt. She resigned to his touch and finally managed to undo all of the buttons and she ran her hands across his bare chest. He began lifting her shirt off and she held her breath, waiting for a look of disgust.

 

     He'd be the first man to ever see that ugly part of herself and she didn’t really mind that it was him. He got the shirt off and she studied his face, ready for him to change his mind but he didn't. He just stared at her body intently- not in a scrutinizing way, he almost looked sad.

 

     The scars varied. Some were small and round, cigarettes probably. Others were clearly precise and straight edged. There was an “ _x”_ carved on her sternum and other various lashes. The one scar that stood out the most was on her ribcage, right near her left breast. The word  _worthless_ in raised, darkened tissue.  _‘Why wasn't I good enough? Why wasn't I worthy?’_ he remembered her crying.Part of him was sad for her. It must have been so painful. All of those wounds. The other part was furious. How could someone do that to her? Call her worthless when she was so beautiful and otherworldly? They defiled her in the cruelest ways.

 

     She felt his touch over her scars and he leaned in and kissed some of them, lingering on her most profane one. "It's not true Lacey. I promise you. They're going to pay." She tried to hold back a tear but one stubbornly escaped and fell down her temple. He moved his lips from her scar to her breast and she moaned in relief, running her hands through his hair. She was always insecure about her breasts, they were an A cup, barely perky enough to get her by. To him, they were wonderful and she reflexively arched her back when his mouth sucked on her nipple.

 

     It certainly was no longer a game. She needed even more and so did he. His mouth lowered from her breasts down her abdomen and he finally reached the barrier of her underwear. He pulled and tugged at the black lace until they were off of her. Lacey kept herself completely hairless. She liked it better that way. Gold marveled at her entirely naked body in his bed, her milky complexion a great contrast to his deep red sheets. She looked like she belonged in a fine art museum. His mouth was on her abdomen once more, and he placed kisses all the way down until his mouth met her labia.

 

      "Fuck!" She whimpered as the heat between her legs was met by his tongue. The sensation was completely new. No man had ever bothered to taste her, to make her feel good, while Gold simply couldn't get enough. Her fingers grasped at his hair and then his sheets as he began to suck on her clit. She couldn't believe this felt so good. He changed up the speeds and motions of his tongue until she couldn't take anymore. "Oh god!" She screamed and he hummed in satisfaction, the vibrations adding extra pleasure as her orgasm overtook her. When she came down, he made his way up to her face and kissed her.

 

     She could taste herself on his lips and she couldn't help but think how very intimate this was. But she still wasn't finished with him. She snuck her hands between them and cupped the bulge in his pants. He groaned and she had that wicked smirk. "Your turn." She managed to get his trousers off as quickly as possible along with his boxers. She stared at his erection in amazement. "Hmm, the big bad wolf indeed." She remarked and started to run her hand up and down his length. She really didn't think he'd be that big and it excited her. He kissed and sucked at her neck, even biting her at times. She grew hotter and wetter at his ministrations and whispered into his ear, "I need you, now."

 

     "Eager much?" He smirked.

 

     "You have no idea baby." He continued to kiss her and she got frustrated. She pulled him up to her face. "I'm on birth control.. You can cum inside of me." She propositioned with her wicked grin. He growled at her offer and kissed her once more before lining himself up with her. His hard cock teased her entrance and he began to grind against her, his hardness grazing her clit and her breathing hitched.

 

     "Is this what you want?" He asked her teasingly.

 

     "Yes." She tried to keep her cool but it was so difficult when he made her feel so good.

 

     "I'm not entirely sure you mean that." He taunted.

 

     "Gold you're killing me! Just fuck me already!.. Please!" She begged.

 

     "Ahh, there's the magic word." He lined up with her entrance and he slowly slid inside until he was all the way inside of her. "Fucking Christ." His Scottish brogue was thick but his groan almost sounded painful.

 

     "What's wrong?" She asked, trying to disguise the worry. Perhaps it was his leg.

 

     "Nothing, it's just you.. You feel so fucking good." She chuckled and it made her muscles further clench around him. He inhaled sharply and began to thrust so that he didn't finish before he got started. It was her turn to groan as she had just started getting used to his length when he thrust hard into her. Her legs wrapped themselves around him for better access. She arched into him and closed her eyes at the feeling of their closeness. His hand grasped her chin and he growled, "Look at me." She obeyed eagerly and stared into the darkness of his eyes, getting lost in them for a moment. She began to meet his thrusts and there was a devilish glint in her bright blues. He suddenly started rubbing her clit, something she had not anticipated, and her devilish glint turned into complete shock as new sensations built up inside her. Their thrusts became feral and she could feel her orgasm building as he moved in and out. Then he thrust in an angle that sent her over that edge, "Fuck! Ronan!" She managed a strangled cry before everything went hazy and she was seeing stars. Her screaming his name did it for him and he thrusted like a madman while her muscles began to milk him for all that he had. She screamed and shuddered at his hard thrusts, prolonging the orgasm. He grunted loudly into her shoulder to muffle the sound as they came together. He collapsed onto her as she got the last of his seed and their bodies tingled all over. It was the hardest both parties had ever cum in their entire lives.

 

      Once he gained some feeling back in his body, Ronan pulled out of Lacey and laid by her side. Both were still out of breath. Once Lacey had finally caught her breath she started to realize how exposed she was. She was getting out of his bed to put her shirt and underwear back on so she could head to her room. Before she made it up, Gold wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back down beside him. "No. Stay." He commanded darkly. She was his now. She was partially grateful as she wasn't sure if her legs would carry her all the way to her room. But she hated feeling exposed with her scars out. He ran his hands along her torso and traced her scars, as though trying to memorize them through touch. "You are beautiful Lacey.. So damn beautiful." He kissed her forehead and she felt a different kind of warmth consume her. A warmth she had never felt before.

 

     Both of their eyes grew heavy and they started to drift off. She fell asleep on his chest as he played with her hair and he fell asleep soon after. It was the most peaceful sleep both had in a very long time, forever it feels like.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not that great at writing intimate, smutty scenes but practice makes perfect I guess.. Opinions/constructive criticism is always welcome :)


	6. Chaos and Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lacey and Gold deal with their new found physical relationship by sort of not dealing with it?.. Ashley and Graham help Lacey realize she and Gold haven't been so subtle about their feelings toward each other. And Gold seeks help from a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to update more consistently but I have finals coming up so don't hate me lol

                Gold woke up first. For the longest time, he just watched her sleep. He watched as her chest moved up and down. She was still naked and her dark tresses contrasted so beautifully with her pale skin. Her scarred torso pained him to look at. He didn’t think it was ugly, he had some unsightly scars of his own. He just hated to think of what she had to suffer. He wanted to wrap his arms around her once more, to absorb her warmth into his body but he couldn’t. He was pretty sure she’d regret sleeping with him the second she woke up.

                What the hell were they both thinking? They were both so caught up in their dangerous game that neither could think of the consequences. Ronan wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking he could have Lacey. Lacey was a force within herself. She was self-destruction, chaos, a devastating storm. But she was also bliss, ecstasy, and everything he avoided in a woman, but she was addicting. He couldn’t save her, he didn’t want to. They both knew she was beyond that. Besides, Lacey didn’t need to be saved. No, she needed to be loved, nurtured, and protected. She had to be protected from further harm and from men like him. She had already been hurt by men like him. They wound their way inside her and like a poisonous, black venom, they spread their pain and darkness and destroyed her from the inside out. They left her as a hollow shell of the girl she had once been. What they did was despicable but he was no better. Lacey had to be protected from men like him but he wanted to do the protecting. He wasn’t sure what it was about her that he was so drawn to. It wasn’t because she was young and beautiful and because they fucked into oblivion last night. There was something in her eyes, in her touch, something in the way she just _is_. But he made a deal. He promised her a fresh start and he intended to give it to her. He couldn’t have her. She wouldn’t want him. They were a lost cause.

                Lacey woke up some time later and found herself on Ronan’s bed. Last night’s events came to her in a flood and her stomach fluttered at the memories. It sunk just as fast when she realized the implications of what they did and how he made her feel. For one, he made her _feel_ actual feelings. Good feelings. Amazing feelings. But he can’t want her so she can’t get her hopes up. If anything, last night’s endeavors will probably prompt him to get her out of his house as quickly as possible. Because they (men) never stayed with her. She never stayed with them. She had never wanted to stay with anyone before now… But he _asked_ her to stay. She was prepared to leave him and head to her room but he wanted her to stay… Why? What did he want with her? He probably just didn’t want to sleep alone. That, she could understand because she, too, hated sleeping alone. It was a lonely and cold way to end your miserable day.

                He called her beautiful. Belle was always complimented on her looks but she had never really cared for them. She was always invested in more important, less superficial things. Lacey, however, was ugly inside and out. The scars that tainted her body and the way she ended up with the man next to her were proof of her ugliness and proof of how disgusting she was. But he not only called her beautiful. For about 20 or 30 glorious minutes, he made her _feel_ beautiful. Could there be a slight chance that he may possibly want her? She didn’t want to dwell on it anymore. One thing she was sure of was that she didn’t want to let go of his warmth… Not just yet. Thinking the body next to her was asleep, she rolled over and curled up next to him, her naked body receiving more warmth from him and the blanket that was now draped over them.

                “You’re awake.” He noted with a slight sense of surprise.

                “Mm hmm,” She hummed hesitantly, shifting closer into him, trying to absorb and enjoy as much warmth as possible before he kicked her off the bed within the next few seconds… Only, he didn’t kick her off. He brought his arm around her and coaxed her body to elevate more so that her head was on his chest and his arm was wrapped around her snugly, similar to how they fell asleep. He dragged his fingers up and down her shoulder, enjoying the softness of her skin and the sweet scent of her hair, like roses. His touch sent electric waves straight into her darkened heart.

                “Last night was…” He attempted to say something but he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to be honest with her but he had no idea what he was to her. Lacey could sense the trepidation in his voice so she decided to be honest. She didn’t want to hide behind bullshit.

                “Wonderful.” She finished airily but there was a slight hint of sadness.

                “Yes, wonderful.” He agreed and Lacey was relieved. At least he felt the same way about last night as she did. They laid in silence for a moment, reveling in each other’s warmth until Lacey decided she better get out of his bed. She cleared her throat and pulled the covers off of herself. “I should get dressed.” She explained and grabbed her clothes off the floor. He watched her dress and Lacey tried not to notice. He followed her example and got out of bed. Sometime throughout the night, he put his boxers back on. This time, it was she who stared at him as he put a white undershirt on. He was thin but his body was hard, as though he may have been very active in his youth. His stomach stretched and flexed as he slipped the shirt on and she could see the ghost of his abs. Her eyes wandered down to his leg and she saw scarring on his ankle, the reason he used a cane.

                “What happened to your leg?” She questioned without thinking.

                He paused all movement and took a breath before he spoke. “I was shot in the leg some time ago. It was a deal gone wrong. The man decided he didn’t like the terms and conditions and took matters into his own hands.”

                “And what happened to the man?” She pressed on, stepping closer to him until she was about arms distance.

                “The less you know, the better sweetheart.” His eyes darkened with the secrets of his past and she couldn’t help the smirk that crept on her face. He was such a fucking mystery to her, as she was to him.

                “Hmm… And there’s nothing I could do to make you tell me?” She moved in even closer and caressed his forearm and bicep. There was a twinkle in her eyes and he found it difficult to restrain himself. He put his other hand over hers to cease her movement.

                “I would rather not implicate you in my past devious endeavors.” He explained. She sighed in resignation.

                “Fine, I’ve got to get ready anyway.” She swiftly put her hand around his neck and guided his mouth to hers in a sweet, thorough kiss. She pulled away, her hand still cradling his neck, and smirked once more. “Will you tell me now?” She asked him in a low, sensual tone.

                He had to think about that for a second as his conscience struggled to keep up. “No.” He answered finally she let go of him.

                “Alright,” she responded testily, signifying that perhaps she wasn’t going to let it go so easily, “I’ll see you later then.” She turned to walk away and it hit him that she was still in nothing but her underwear and a loose t-shirt that failed to conceal said underwear.

                “Lace, you don’t want to borrow a robe or something?” He questioned.

                “I’m trying to _enjoy_ my body while it lasts, remember?” She reminded him.

                “Oh, I’m never going to forget… Believe me.” He blatantly scanned her body up and down just as she had with him yesterday. She laughed at his flirtatiousness and it was the first time he saw her genuinely smile. It warmed his heart knowing it was he who put it there.

                She walked out of the room still grinning when she became aware of it. It had been so long since she smiled, truly smiled. _Maybe we could be something,_ she thought hopefully. She was headed down the hall to her room when she crossed paths with Ashley, carrying clean towels to the restroom. Ashley looked at her amusedly, her eyes beamed with excitement.

                “Morning Lacey.” She greeted extra cheerfully.

                “Good Morning.” She said as casually as she possibly could. She eyed her revealing ensemble and her eyes darted to Gold’s room and back at her. The moment she thought this couldn’t get any more awkward and uncomfortable, Graham came striding into the hallway as well.

                “Hey, how’s it going Lace…” The rest of her name died on his lips when he noticed her clothing, or lack thereof. His face filled with, what looked to be, dread. He, too, stared at Ronan’s door and back at her. Ashley positively beamed.

                “Shit.” He muttered.

                Ashley chuckled. “Pay up Graham. Mama’s got her eye on a new dress.” She held her hand out expectantly.

                He cursed some more under his breath and mumbled something about _keeping it in his pants_ and _a few more days_ as he took out his wallet. He grabbed a hundred dollar bill and handed it to Ashley.

                “I hope that dress rips the first time you wear it.” He teased.

                “Oh honey, don’t be a bad sport. You made a mistake, we all do.” She teased back.

                “I’m confused here.” Lacey finally spoke up.

                “Graham and I made a bet that you two would be sleeping together, I said within two months, he said within three and Graham here, made the mistake of over estimating the will of men.” She said coolly.

                Lacey stared at them incredulously. Part of her wanted to be angry and offended. “What made you think I was going to sleep with him in the first place?” She asked.

                “Oh hon, the way you two stare at each other, I’m surprised you haven’t eaten each other alive already. You’d have to be completely inept not to feel that sexual tension in the air.” She explained nonchalantly. Graham just nodded in agreement. Lacey continued to stare and was slightly ashamed at how obvious it was to everyone else.

                “I need a drink.” She finally sighed, deciding it would take too much energy to be mad at them. “I’ll see you two later.” And she walked away as quickly as she could.

                Lacey showered and got dressed after that encounter. She put a CD into the stereo and laid on her bed as she took a swig out of a leftover bottle of wine she snuck in a couple of days ago. Ronan passed her room sometime after as he made his way from the kitchen downstairs up into his office. He stopped by her door trying to figure out what in the hell she was listening to. He caught parts of a woman singing something about _following her down to the river_ and _being on her knees._ What a strange taste in music she had.

                He stepped into his office and sat on the leather chair behind his desk. He opened up the bottom drawer and right next to his gun, was a framed picture of a young boy with curly brown hair and dark eyes. He was smiling in the picture, grinning from ear to ear with a soccer ball in his hand. A sad smile found its way to his lips as he remembered that day. He put the picture back in its place and closed the compartment. He dialed a number on his phone and waited for the other end to pick up.

                After a few rings, a voice answered. “What do you want Gold?” She asked, clearly agitated.

                “My, my Regina. Have I caught you at a bad time?”

                “Yes.” She answered matter-of-factly.

                “Well too bad. I need your assistance.”

                “What is it now? Is mother still drunk dialing you? My wretched sister still throwing herself at you?”

                “God no.” He cringed at the thought of those wretched women. “No this concerns that case I was looking into. You know, the one the mother of your son helped me with.”

                “ _I’m_ his mother.” She stated bitterly. “And what the hell do you want her for?”

                “I may actually need the both of you. Her particular skills and your particular influence.”

                “YOU WANT ME TO WORK WITH HER?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND OLD MAN?” She yelled into the phone and he had to hold his phone at a distance so as not to go deaf.

                “Yes I do and no, I’m not. You owe me a favor, _multiple_ favors. I’m cashing one in.”

                She was silent for a moment and then resigned. “Fine… Remind me, what was this case about again?” She asked reluctantly.

                “A young woman named Belle French. She went missing and is presumed to be dead. I need you to have Emma look into her personal life and find information on a contact for me.”

                “So what do you need me for?” She asked curiously.

                “This contact is said to have lots of money. Enough money to cover his tracks and buy him protection. I need you to use your influence and contacts to get me as much private information as humanly possible. I mean that. I’m talking about financial records, his daily schedule, his friends, known associates. I need info on every aspect of his life.” He demanded.

                “Jesus, Gold what did he do to you?” She inquired interestedly.

                “That’s my business.” He said simply.

                “Wait, hold on. You have money and contacts too. You certainly have more power than I do. Why not do it yourself?”

                He sighed. “I have other things going on, dearie. What better way to spend my money than by paying my former protégé and her nemesis to get their hands dirty and do the work for me?”

                She sighed, annoyed at him, and changed the subject. “What’s so special about this _alleged_ dead girl, anyway?”

                “I made a deal with someone… To get revenge on the ones who hurt her.”

                “Wait, so you know what happened to her? Do you think this contact of hers killed her?”

                “Regina just find him. I’m not paying you to interrogate me.” He snapped. She scoffed at his refusing to answer her.

                “Fine… Do you at least know the contact’s name?”

                “Yeah. His name is Gaston. When you have all of the information, let me know.” He ended the conversation and thought of the ways he would take care of Gaston. Each idea more gruesome and despicable than the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. Let me know what you want to happen or what you think should happen. I'm always a slut for constructive feedback;)


	7. The Monster and The Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archie is getting curious about Lacey and Gold's relationship. Lacey has a nightmare and then has some fun ;) She and Gold also have some interesting conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ensues ;)

 

                  She was back in the living room with Dr. Hopper, sprawled out on the couch in a low cut, white baby doll dress. She was barefoot as her fingernails and toenails were freshly painted a crimson red. She wore the dress for Ronan in the hopes that he’d actually look at her. He wasn’t necessarily avoiding her. They had talked and even flirted a couple of times since their night together, but their conversations never lasted long. He always had work to do or some other obligation to attend to. And she hated to admit it, but she craved his presence and his body.

                 She drowned out Dr. Hopper’s voice and she imagined his hands on her. She pictured him running his hands over her body, cupping her breasts. She could smell his cologne and feel the softness of his hair running through her fingers. She wanted desperately to feel the friction of his erection between her legs. The thought of him sent electric signals to her lower region but she was roused out of her fantasy when she heard Dr. Hopper’s tone elevate as though asking a question.

                “What?” She asked, trying to gain control of her thoughts.

                “I said you look tired.” He repeated. “Have you been having nightmares?”

                “Just a couple of times throughout the week.”

                “And have you tried one of the techniques we talked about?”

                She hesitated to answer. _Technically,_ she did. Orgasms counted as exercise, right?

                “I slept with Ronan.” She blatantly changed the subject and was amused at how surprised and taken aback he looked.

                “Oh, okay. Umm, when did this happen?” He stammered.

                “About a week ago. I kind of seduced him.”

                “Do you like him?”

                She hadn’t expected that question. She expected him to psychoanalyze her or even reprimand her. But instead he asked the question she’d been asking herself for a long time.

                “I think I like him.” He gave her a questioning look and she continued. “I could like him.. But there’s something dark in me. Actually, there’s something dark in the both of us. How could that ever work? He deserves someone whole and beautiful.” She finished sadly.

                “And what, you consider yourself broken and ugly?” He asked straightforwardly.

                “Yes, I do.” She responded just as bluntly.

                “Why?”

                “Because I just am. He needs someone who can bring light to his darkness. I can’t do that when I’m just as dark, if anything, darker. I know the type of self-destructive person I am and I don’t want to drag him down with me… He’s been through too much.”

                “Alright, tell me Lacey. Do you care about him?”

                “Yes.”

                “Does he care about you?”

                She thought about all he had done for her and all that he’s doing for her. It’d be easier to say that he doesn’t care about her so that when she had to leave, it’d be easier. However, she couldn’t lie to herself, she wasn’t dumb enough to lie to herself.

                “Yeah, I think he does.”

                “Well, isn’t that all that matters, then? Isn’t two people caring for each other enough to make it work?”

                “I don’t know…” She answered honestly.

                “Well, perhaps that’s something you can consider throughout the week as we end our session today.”

                “But we still have time left.” There was still about twenty minutes left of their session and she couldn’t understand why he would want to end it soon.

                “Yes, we do. But you’re going to use that time to sleep. Get some rest Lacey. You need it.”

                She sighed. “Alright then. Thanks Archie.”

                “No problem Lacey. I’ll see you next week.”

                He left and she remained sprawled out on the couch. She did think about what Archie said and eventually got lost in her own thoughts as her eyes started to drift closed and sleep consumed her.

 

                Archie stepped into Gold’s office as he was going over some paperwork. He looked almost as tired as Lacey had looked. Perhaps he was just stressed. He didn’t even look up from his papers as Archie took a seat. Even as he cleared his throat to make his presence known, the man still didn’t look up. The man was being especially stubborn but Archie knew what he had to do. He’d have to be blunt.

                “You slept with her.” It could have been a question but Archie meant it as a statement of fact. He was amused as the man finally looked up at him.

                “What?” He remained as neutral as possible.

                “You had sex with Lacey. The pretty, young, troubled girl who’s sessions you’re paying for. Is that why you’re helping her? So that she’ll feel obligated to sleep with you?” He knew that wasn’t the case but he needed answers. Why was Ronan Gold, The Dark one, taking care of a young girl who has issues stretching miles long?

                “You have some nerve coming in here and accusing me of _that._ ” He growled.

                “Well, I’m just asking because no one is telling me what is really going on. Why are you caring after her? How did a girl like that cross paths with you?”

                “What do you mean ‘a girl like that’?” He asked threateningly.

                “A girl who has nightmares almost every night. A girl who can’t trust people. A highly intelligent, insightful girl who could have easily done anything with her life and yet she’s here with you. I can tell, you know. Something bad happened to her, really bad. And somehow, you got caught up in her life and felt as though you had to help her. That’s why I’m here, right? I’m helping you help her, but I can’t help her unless I know what’s going on. I’ve only had two sessions with Lacey and I can tell that something is eating her alive. If she doesn’t talk about this, it will kill her, Gold. It will kill her, slowly and painfully. Let me help her. Tell me what happened.” Dr. Hopper pleaded.

                Gold was silent for a moment, staring down Dr. Hopper. “I hired you to talk to her. Not to ask questions.”

                “No, you hired me to help her.”

                “Well then, perhaps I shouldn’t have hired you.” He spat back.

                “Hey, if you want to fire me, go ahead. But just know, if that girl doesn’t get help and doesn’t talk about her trauma, she will never be free. Are you willing to live with that, Gold? Do you want to-“

                “Enough!” Gold snapped. “I’m not going to fire you. Not yet. I’ll talk to her and see what I can do. But remember, you are in my pocket Dr. Hopper. Whatever Lacey says, no matter how _troubling_ it may be, it doesn’t leave your sessions. If anything comes out about her, I will take you down.” He threatened and was very confused when Archie smiled.

                “You care about her… You like her, maybe more.” He concluded. Gold just glared at him, daring him to further draw out his conclusion. “You know, she likes you too Gold. And for someone like Lacey, liking someone is a very difficult thing to do.” Dr. Hopper stood up and was headed for the door. “Just be careful and try not to hurt her. I’m sure she’s been hurt enough to last a lifetime.” And with that said, the doctor walked out of the room, leaving Gold to ponder for a moment.

                _I would never hurt her,_ he thought to himself. Hoping to believe with every fiber in him that that was true. Because it seemed that everyone in his life was somehow hurt by him. He really wanted Lacey to be an exception.

 

_She was tied to the bed this time. They were alone. All of his torture buddies had left upon his request. He always wanted to be alone for what he was about to do, at least he spared her that humiliation. She was so tired. At least when he did this, he let her sleep on the soft bed, whereas on torture nights, he’d leave her to sleep on the cold, hard table. She didn’t want to do this but if she screamed and cried enough, he’d finish faster._

_“Gaston, why are you doing this?” She sobbed. She was naked and exposed and he was kissing his way up her body. He looked in her eyes with perverted sincerity._

_“Because, I love you Belle. And I need to show you exactly how much I love you.” He began touching her inner thighs, moving his fingers towards her sex and she sobbed some more, her breath quickening in fear._

_“But I don’t love you.” She choked out._

_“Don’t say that Belle. You do love me, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself because you’re afraid. But I know you do.” She gasped as he inserted a finger in her._

_“Don’t do this!” She managed to squeal in pain._

_“Marry me and I’ll stop.”_

_“No!” She screamed and he removed his finger out of her. He grasped her throat and she struggled to breathe._

_“You worthless, little bitch! I’m not going to fuck you. Not tonight anyway. I promised your father I would wait until our wedding night.” He let go of her throat and she gasped for breath. “Of course, there has to be a wedding first… I don’t get it Belle. If you married me, you’d have everything. Our families, becoming one, we’d be the most powerful family in the state! We would have the most beautiful children! You want a family, don’t you? Can’t you see baby Belle? To the world, you’re just a pretty girl. No one cares about you. Without your daddy, without me, you’re nothing. Just love me Belle. Love me.” He reinserted his fingers in her and she continued her broken sobs._

_She would never love him. She would rather die than marry him. Gaston and her father could go to hell. She would never let them have the satisfaction of knowing they broke her. Her cries turned into screams as he bit her shoulder, the taste of her blood, of her pain, became the catalyst of his pleasure. It only took a minute of her broken sobs and screams to send him over the edge and make him cum in his pants. Gaston got off the bed to clean himself up, leaving Belle on the bed with a pain between her legs, tears falling down her face, and the wish to die._

Lacey woke up sobbing. She hated how real it all was. If they were just dreams, it’d be different. But they weren’t just dreams, they were memories. Those awful fucking memories. Everything around her became clearer and she was aware that it was now dark. Her nap turned out to be longer than expected. She was now tucked into a blanket to keep her warm. For a long time, she sat there and just dwelled on her dream. Her dreams always had the power to make her realize how lonely she was and how lonely she would always be.  It was the curse of having her dreams. The curse that the torture cast upon her. The sound of footsteps and the tapping of a cane made her jump. The sound was headed towards the door and before she could realize what she was doing, she ran towards the source.

                “You’re leaving?” She asked so suddenly, she wasn’t able to conceal the longing in her voice, making her sound like a child asking their parent to stay.

                He turned to face her and was surprised. When he laid the blanket on her, she looked so beautiful, so peaceful in her sleep. She was so stunning in her white dress, like a princess waiting to be kissed. He almost had kissed her, but she hardly ever slept anyway and he didn’t want to wake her. Not even the way her dress rode further up her thighs could tempt him enough to wake her. But the sight he saw now nearly broke his heart. Lacey stood there in her white dress, still looking so beautiful but so sad and disheveled. Her mascara was smudged and her cerulean blues were brimming with tears. She’d been crying. He stepped closer to her and wiped a tear that had fallen, along with some smudged mascara. She sniffed and wiped the rest of the mascara and tears carefully with her fingers.

                “Yeah, I am leaving. I’m headed to the store for cigarettes and some quick business..” Ronan explained. He couldn’t ignore the sadness and disappointment that crept in her eyes. “Are you alright?” He asked concernedly.

                “Yeah, it was just a bad dream. I’m okay now.” She reasoned. “Well, I’ll see you later, then.” She began to walk away but he couldn’t let her. Not like that.

                “Do- do you want to come with me?” He asked her on a whim. And the way her eyes brightened made it all worth it.

                “You want me to come with you?” She asked incredulously.

                “Well, yeah, I mean, I think it’s about time you got out of the house.”

                She smiled at him warmly and it made his heart flutter. “Okay, I’ll go with you. Let me just put my shoes on.” She ran upstairs to her room and slipped on her red high heels to match her nail polish, then quickly applied some lip balm. She met him at the door and pretended not to notice the way he stared at her legs. He led her to his black Cadillac and drove off.

                The drive was nice. She rolled her window down and enjoyed the night time air as it flowed through her hair and the cool wind kissed her body. She enjoyed it too much to be cold despite how little her dress covered. They reached the convenience store in little time and they stepped in arm in arm. Gold told her to get whatever she wanted so she roamed around while he grabbed his own items.

                As she made her way down the candy aisle, she noticed the cashier, a short man with dark hair, staring at her. In true Lacey fashion, she decided to play with him. She grabbed a cherry blow pop, unwrapped it, and licked the lollipop seductively while making her way to the register.

                “How much is this?” She asked, making it a point to lick the lollipop up and down.

                “Umm, it’s-uhh- fifty cents.” He stammered, carefully watching as her tongue made its way around the candy.

                “Hmm, what’s your name?” She made her voice low and playful.

                “Tom- Tom Clarke.” He sneezed abruptly after, starting her a bit.

                “Bless you Tom, I’m Lacey.” She held her hand out for him to shake but soon withdrew it as he sneezed again. She closed her mouth around the candy and let it out with a pop, causing Tom to stumble and accidentally push the rack of lighters on the counter. As he tried to recover and place all of the lighters back, there was a particular one that caught her eye. She grabbed it before he could place it back. It was a beautiful, silver steel lighter with roses embossed on it. It felt cool between her fingers and she couldn’t help but stare at it. It was so pretty and it felt like it belonged to her. She flicked open the top of the lighter and pressed down on the button, making a nice flame appear.

                “It’s beautiful.” She stated dreamily and Tom simply stared at her, wide eyed and open mouthed. Lacey closed the lid of the lighter and resumed her sensual actions with the lollipop. She didn’t even notice Ronan coming up beside her.

                “Lacey.” He called her name as someone would call to tame their pet. She turned to face him, suddenly wearing an innocent expression, as though she hadn’t just been torturing poor Tom. Her eyes positively sparked when she saw the items in his arm. He carried a roll of duct tape and rope.

                “Any kinks I should know about?” She playfully asked. He reciprocated her playfulness and winked. The moment was interrupted when Tom sneezed again. Ronan dropped the items on the counter and noticed the lighter in her hand.

                “You want that?” He asked and she eagerly nodded yes. They made their purchases and walked out of the store. But not before Lacey could take one last seductive lick of her lollipop and wink at the dumbfounded cashier. “Goodbye Tom.” She had purred and he managed to stutter a goodbye before the door closed behind them.

                “Were you trying to kill the poor man?” He teased as they made their way to the Cadillac.

                “I was just having some fun.”  She laughed. “Thanks for the lighter, by the way.”

                “No problem. A pretty lighter for a pretty girl, it’s only fitting.” Lacey blushed at his comment. When they reached the car, she turned to face him. She meant to say something witty but the words died on her tongue at the way he looked at her. The cherry lollipop had given her lips and tongue a red tint and he found himself hypnotized by the idea of her mouth on his, and among other parts of his body. The hunger in his eyes didn’t faze her, in fact, she loved it. But she was going to make him pay for his neglect of her.

                “You haven’t been around this past week… Have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” She questioned as she leaned against his car, folding her arms around her chest defensively. Her cleavage perked up at the positioning of her arms and he wanted nothing more than to mark her breasts with his mouth, but he had to answer her.

                He set the bags on top of the hood and put a hand on her shoulder. “No Lacey, you did nothing wrong, I promise you.”

                “Then why are you avoiding me? Do you not like me?” She inquired, suddenly sounding sullen and unable to conceal the disappointment at the thought that she wasn’t good enough for him. She knew she wasn’t but she didn’t need that idea reinforced. He knew what she was really asking and he hastened to drag that thought out of her head.

                “No, no. Lacey, it’s not that. I’ve just had a lot of things going on business wise. I do like you. I just wasn’t sure if you liked me so I let my business take over my time to let you be alone. I wasn’t purposely avoiding you, I just thought that was what you wanted.” He explained and part of her was relieved. The other part of her just giggled. “What?” He asked, perplexed.

                “You men always think you know what we women want. Next time, just ask.” She smiled and he recognized that damned glint in her eye. He stepped towards her, willing himself to submit into her trap.

                “And what is it you want now dearie?” He asked in a low voice.

                She leaned into him, smelling the scent of his cologne. A nice woodsy scent with a hint of spice. “This.” She whispered and pressed her lips against his. He caved in immediately and brought his hands to cup her face. She tasted so sweet, and he deepened the kiss as the cherry flavor of her lips and tongue danced on his. Lacey was just about to wrap her arms around his neck when their sugary kiss was interrupted by bright headlights and a honk. He pulled away and Lacey couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her. He stared at the SUV that interrupted them and muttered “Great fucking timing Jefferson.” He grabbed the bag that contained the rope and duct tape from the hood of the car.

                “I need you to wait here Lace. It’s that quick business I mentioned.” He explained. She glanced uncertainly at the truck and then at him but decided against asking questions.

                “Alright but hurry back.” She told him and kissed him on the lips once more. As he walked away, with his cane at his side, she thought that whatever the purpose the duct tape and rope was for, it was no good. Her mind also wondered about the things she would possibly do to him once they were done here. That thought, at least, made her smirk.

                Gold went to the driver’s side of the SUV as the window rolled down and a man with sunglasses, a leather jacket, and a black fedora paired with bright scarves around his neck appeared, grinning.

                “Impeccable timing, as always Jefferson. Here’s your damn merchandise.” Gold threw the bag onto his lap but his grin never left.

                “Who’s the young lady?” He questioned, oozing smugness.

                “None of your business, dearie.”

                “Oh come on Gold. Don’t play coy with me. You can’t tell me that that’s not the girl who’s been living at your place and fucking you?” _Damn this man._

“You’ve been having girls’ night with Ashley haven’t you? Or has Graham finally given into your advances?” He retorted.

                “You can’t keep secrets from me Gold. I’m one of the handful of people on this earth who can actually stand you. So tell me, how good is she? Is it serious between you two because she looks like she’d be a lot of fun?” He winked.

                “Enough Jefferson. She’s off limits.” He snarled.

                “Alright man, don’t get testy with me. I’m only busting your balls.” Jefferson glanced over at Lacey and chuckled sinisterly. “She’s going to eat you alive, man.”

                Gold followed his glance towards Lacey. She was now sitting on the hood of his car and lighting a cigarette with her new lighter, the cherry lollipop now forgotten. The sight of her looking so at ease and beautiful made him feel a warmth deep in him. He’d let her eat him alive if she just asked.

                “I can handle myself.”

                Jefferson looked him up and down, “Maybe you can, but my money is on that sweet thing being the end of you. I’ve been watching you for a while here, and I see how you look at her. I see the way she looks at you. And from all of that, I’ve gathered that the dark one may have a weakness after all… Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” He ended on a serious note.

                “Well, thanks for your insight but I’m not paying you for that, am I?” He said, slightly annoyed. Apparently, everyone in his pocket was being very testy today.

                “Indeed, you’re not. I’ll send you an update when I can.”

                “I look forward to it.”

                He started his truck, “Goodbye Gold, say goodbye to sweet thing for me, will you?” With that, he laughed and drove off.

 

                Lacey and Gold now sat on the couch, drinking wine, and talking about books and authors they admire. He was mesmerized at the way her eyes lit up when she discussed her love for gothic writers like Emily Dickinson and Edgar Allan Poe. However, she also loved Jane Austen and went on for a good ten minutes about her love for Harry Potter. She was so amusing to watch as she became caught up in her own thoughts. Eventually, however, she caught on to her ramblings and stopped, as though the spark in her died; he could see it leave her eyes.

                “What’s wrong?” He inquired. She blinked and any sign of distress was gone.

                “Nothing. I just want to know more about you. Tell me about yourself.” She flashed him a smile and he gazed at her, trying to read her face, wanting to know what caused that spark to die. But her smile was so pretty and he didn’t want to ruin the moment.

                “There isn’t really much to know. I’m actually quite boring.” He said, avoidant.

                “Well, that’s a lie if I ever did hear one. You are the infamous Mr. Gold, The Dark One, my Big Bad Wolf… You are anything but boring. You’re just too scared to tell me.” She instigated.

                “Or perhaps you just want to learn the monster’s weaknesses.” He chided playfully. She giggled and sipped the last of her wine.

                “You’re not a monster.” She stated sincerely. “Well, not entirely. But I know there’s good in you.”

                “Be careful, dearie. Don’t you know the monster behind the man always wins out?”

                “Well, that’s debatable.” She retorted. “I think if the man behind the monster fought hard enough and was willing, he could find a way to win.”

                “And what makes you so sure the man wants to win?”

                “I can never be sure. But I have seen my fair share of monsters. I have seen them win. The man almost never wants to win because the monster has such strength and power. We all have a monster in us, some are stronger than others. Even if the man does win, the monster somehow leaves its mark so in a way, the man always loses. I believe the only way the man could truly win, is by finding a way to accept the monster and obtaining a balance between the monster and the man.” She explained her philosophy and Gold couldn’t stop staring.

                “And have you found a balance between the monster and the man, or in your case the woman?” He asked, curious to hear her answer.

                “Have you?” She questioned in return, raising an eyebrow.

                He couldn’t stop himself as he marveled at her. He kissed her once more. It tasted like wine. She opened her mouth to allow his tongue to enter, the taste of wine now stronger as their tongues made contact. Her hands made their way to the lapels of his jacket while his were on her waist. After a minute of kissing and caressing, she put her hand to his chest and pulled away, leaving him dazed and wanting more. Now was no time to beat around the bush.

                “Do you want to have sex?” She asked playfully, slightly out of breath from the kissing.

                “What?” He asked, coming out of his daze and trying to make sure he wasn’t just hearing things. A breathy laugh escaped her and she got off the couch but kept her hands on his shoulders and her face was still close to his as she bent down to say something in his ear.

                “Do you want to follow me upstairs, into my room, and hopefully, fuck my brains out?” She asked tantalizingly slow and erotic so that he could understand. He finally came to as lust and need began to take over his body.

                “Well, when you put it that way…” She smiled and began to walk away for him to follow. Instead, he grabbed her arm and she gasped as he pulled her down into his lap. “But why wait for upstairs?” He teased and began kissing her neck.

                “Well, don’t you know heaven is upstairs?” She asked innocently.

                “Hmm, well why don’t we have some fun down here in hell, first?” He growled and she had no choice in the matter as he had already reached under her dress and felt her wet arousal on her red silk underwear. She let out a sharp breath at his unexpected touch. The pressure was exactly what she needed. But she wanted more so she adjusted her position on his lap, now straddling his lap. She kissed him hungrily, moaning into his mouth as he rubbed his hand against her.

                She whimpered when his hand left her. But it only left for a moment. He brought her underwear down her thighs and his hand made direct contact with the bare, sensitive flesh of her labia. She couldn’t contain the cry of pleasure that escaped her. His long, slightly calloused fingers were a nice contrast of pleasure against her. His fingers worked her clit the right ways and she moved her hips along with his movements to increase the pleasure but it wasn’t enough.

                “More… Ronan I need more…” She panted. He met her eyes and a mischievous grin came across his face. She wanted to be unnerved by it but she never got the chance because he put a finger in her and the added pleasure clouded any previous thought. And then he added another, and then another. “Yes! Like that!” She was now grinding against him more powerfully. She closed her eyes and for a split second, she saw Gaston’s eyes, a cold gray, with nothing but hatred and malice. She gasped at the thought of him. Ronan merely thought that she was gasping at his current actions. She opened her eyes and stared into his. They were brown and yes, they were full of darkness- pain, sadness, and even hatred. But there was also a warmth and a capacity to love that Gaston and even she would probably never know. She held on to that warmth and held on to all that Gaston could never make her feel; more importantly, she held on to all that Ronan _could_ make her feel. She was becoming lost in the pleasure. Her fingers gripped his shoulders forcefully as her thrusts grew even harder on him. Her moans became louder, her breathing harder. The tension in her was building.

                “I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum…” She panted.

                “Oh? Are you?” His voice was full of that mischief she forgot. He unexpectedly pulled out his fingers, earning a grunt of frustration from Lacey.

                “Gold, what the fuck?!” She tried to gain the friction again by grinding against him but he gripped her hips to stop her.

                “No, no, no sweetheart. Not yet. You wanted me to fuck your brains out, right? You have to trust me. Now, what do you say we take this hell upstairs to heaven, yeah?” He looked so smug and she wanted nothing more than to fuck that look off his face. She got off of him, took her underwear off, and straightened her dress. She shoved her underwear in his jacket and said she wouldn’t need them for now. She guided him upstairs and headed for her room but he stopped her.

                “Umm, where do you think you’re going? You’re sleeping in my room tonight.” He informed her.

                Lacey shot him an amused look. “Okay but I should at least grab pajamas or something.”

                He wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed her body against his. “Sweetheart, you won’t need any clothes tonight.” His voice was rough and thick and it made her weak. She kissed him hard, biting his lip before she released him and began to drag him to his bedroom.

                He grabbed her waist when the door was shut behind them and brought his lips to hers. He dropped his cane carelessly. She gasped when he grasped behind her thighs and lifted her off the ground. With her legs and arms wrapped securely around him, he made his way toward the bed. This action had surprisingly little effect on his bad ankle. Once at the foot of the bed, he set her down gently and took his jacket off.

                She watched him take it off with a lustful gaze as the heat between her legs increased. She got on her knees and grabbed him by the tie, and kissed him whilst quickly undoing it. She was halfway done with unbuttoning his shirt when he pulled away.

                “That’s a beautiful dress you have on.” He mentioned, slightly out of breath.

                “You really think so?” She purred in his ear as she undid the last button.

                “Absolutely but if it’s not off within the next minute, I’m afraid I’m going to have to rip it off.” He explained in a near predatorily growl. She giggled and turned his back to her.

                “Well then by all means, unzip me.” And he did so, with pleasure. He took his time, making sure to cherish the sight of her milky skin as the dress fell inch by inch. As he suspected, she wasn’t wearing a bra. It would have been insensible given how low cut it was. He noted a couple of more scars that he had missed the last time she was naked in his bed. He caressed his hands up and down her scarred torso and they eventually made their way to her tight ass, gripping her and making her moan.

                Ronan moved Lacey’s long, dark hair to the side and worked at her neck with his mouth. He lingered over areas he discovered that were more sensitive to his actions. He scraped his teeth along her neck, eliciting more lovely sounds from her. Her hips began bucking into his and she could feel that erection she had fantasized about earlier. He groaned as she reached a hand behind her and groped the front of his trousers.

                He pushed Lacey down, causing her to squeal and splay her arms out to brace her fall. She was on all fours now.

                “Don’t turn around. Move further into the bed.” He commanded.

                She did as she was told and she could hear the unbuckling of his belt, the unzipping of his zipper, and finally the fall of his trousers. Then she could feel the dip of the mattress as he came up behind her. He gripped her hips and leaned over her, his chest against her back.

                “I missed you.” She admitted sheepishly.

                He inhaled the rosy scent of her hair. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” He reciprocated softly, sending shivers through her whole body. Once again, his hands caressed her body, trying to commit the curves of her body and the smoothness of her skin to memory.

                Their bodies straightened as he began massaging her breasts, kneading and lightly pinching her small, pink nipples. She rolled her hips back against his hard dick. The warmth and wetness of her bare pussy grazing against his length produced a moan from him. She placed both of her hands on top of where both of his were splayed against her breasts. She gripped them for him to squeeze harder. He leaned his head into the curve of her neck and kissed and sucked at those newly discovered sensitive spots.

                She sighed in pleasure and contentment at the different sensations that were currently taking place in her body. He felt so good against her, so hard and warm. This was what she craved most of all. Just his body against hers, that intimacy she never felt with other men, the way his touch made her feel warm all over.

                “Yes!” She whimpered when his cock rubbed against her clit. Her movements grew quicker and harder, desperate for more of him. “I need you… I need you.” She nearly cried.

                “You need what, sweetheart?” He rasped. She removed one of his hands from her breast and brought it to the apex of her mound. He rubbed her clit and she moaned in relief.

                “Inside- I need you inside me.” She finally managed to speak.

                “You’re forgetting something.” He teased.

                “Please! You bastard!” She growled impatiently.

                He smirked and removed his hand from her clit to line himself up with her entrance. Slowly, he made his way inside. Their position allowed him to sheathe himself fully around her. He closed his eyes and held his breath as he filled her completely. Lacey felt so full and she reveled in the moment. She had craved him for an entire week and she was finally getting her fix. She rolled her hips a little and clenched her muscles around him, a movement he was not expecting. An almost pain-filled, animalistic grunt escaped him as he finally let out that breath he’d been holding in to keep his mind straight. He gripped her hips hard to stop her movement.

                She smiled as it was his turn to get frustrated. “You alright their old man? Should I not do _this_ anymore?” She clenched around him again and he fought to stay silent. She was getting talkative and smart with him; that had to stop.

                He pulled back so that only the tip of him remained inside of her and he thrust in almost forcefully. “Fuck!” She cried. He repeated the motion and enjoyed the cry that followed as well.

                “You alright there, little lady? Can you not handle _this_?” He thrust once more and she didn’t even care much that he was using her own joke against her. She reached one of her hands behind her to grab at his hair and tugged on it lightly.

                “Shut up and do it again.” She groaned. Ronan obliged happily.

                Every thrust was absolute magic. Every moan and grunt was music in the air. She began to move her hips in accordance to his. Her muscles gripping his cock each time he moved in and out. He started to thrust in that angle that made her feel so good. She loosened the grip on his hair and brought her hand to her clit while the other gripped onto his hip as his movements continued.

                He took notice of the way her movements quickened, along with the increase of her breathing and the frequency of her moans. She pressed her body against his as she was nearing that peak of bliss.

                “Are you gonna cum, sweetheart?” He asked sweetly. She should have noticed the malice in his voice but she was so close!

                “Yes!” She moaned. In one swift movement, he managed to pull her hand away from her mound, grip her by the hair, and pull out of her.

                “Think again.” His voice was rich in smugness. Her pussy throbbed at the loss of pressure and friction.

                “No! Please, don’t stop!” She begged. Before she could even attempt to gain more friction by grinding against him, he tightened the grip in her hair and pulled back.

                “Shh, relax little one. Relax… Breathe.” He whispered as she whimpered, both in pain and arousal. She reluctantly obeyed and let her breathing regulate. “I’m going to let you cum, don’t you worry about that. It’s just a matter of how and when. Now, be a good girl and turn around.”

                He released the death grip on her hair and she turned to face him. She met his eyes and they were so dark with lust and power, it made her insides squirm. He cradled the back of her head and kissed her so deeply and passionately, she moaned shamelessly into his mouth. No one ever kissed her like that, like she meant something. Come to think of it, no one ever did anything to her the way Ronan did.

                He laid her head down on the pillows and positioned himself between her legs, his lips never leaving hers. The kiss finally broke when he entered her once more, eliciting a groan from the both of them. He started his thrusts at a slow pace, savoring the way her walls gripped and clenched around him. And god, he could listen to her moans and whimpers all day!

                On a whim, she lifted her legs up higher to grant him more ease of access and brought her hips up to meet his thrust. “Shit!” He rasped and gripped the headboard to retain some control over the sudden sensation. He stared down at her and she wore a vindictive grin. He kissed her once more but this time, it was more messy and aggressive with their tongues carelessly caressing one another. She bit his lip to mess with him and he responded with a forceful thrust. Her head fell back on the pillow and she arched into him. His full length was pumping hard into her hot cunt. She wrapped her legs tight around him, intent on not letting him go until she came.

                He kissed Lacey’s body, paying special attention to her erect nipples, licking and sucking on each one and allowing the pleasure to drive her close to climax. She continued to meet his thrusts and their pleasures became more vocal. Ronan hit that angle in her once more and she knew that she was too far up that peak. Even if he did want to torture her once more and pull out, she wouldn’t make it. He could feel it in her body, the tension building and increasing. He didn’t have it in him to torture her once more because he was on that verge of climax as well. He gripped her neck and kissed her hard before looking her in her crystal blue eyes.

                She met his eyes and couldn’t bring herself to look away. He was so beautiful, with his graying caramel hair falling onto his face and his deep brown eyes looking down at her. There was an unmistakable warmth and compassion in them, darkened with that lust and need for her. He looked into her. She was at her most vulnerable and he still managed to look into her with that compassion. For some reason that was beyond her, he managed to see something good in her. Truth be told, he saw something beautiful in her but Lacey wouldn’t be able to comprehend that, at least not at the moment. Tears began brimming her eyes but she couldn’t bring herself to look away, couldn’t bring herself to lose that warmth and clarity she felt when she stared into him. In that moment, she knew that Ronan Gold would be the only man who could ever truly make her feel at ease.

                It was as though he could read her thoughts as they were happening because he felt it too. His life was one lonely, bitter, painful day after another. But once he stared into those damned oceans she calls eyes, he knew she would be the one to change all of it. He didn’t give a damn about how dangerous she was or how much of a train wreck her life was because they were both the same in that perspective. He would have her, deal be damned because he needed her. He needed all of her.

                Lacey was right on the edge of breaking and so was he. The tension in her body was at its highest and it scared her. She had never felt so much pressure in her life and she had no clue what would happen when it was finally released. She only knew she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

                “Ronan… I can’t… I need to…” She panted but couldn’t focus enough to finish that sentence.

                “It’s okay. Cum for me Lacey…” And he didn’t have to say anymore. She gripped on to his shoulders for dear life and her toes curled as she wrapped her legs tighter around him until finally, the tension broke with a cry of pleasure from deep within her, a tear escaping her. The moment her walls clamped down on him, he was gone. He ground his hips into hers with such a quick ferocity as she writhed underneath him. For a moment, she couldn’t see anything, she made no noise. All she felt was blinding waves of pleasure wash over her and another hoarse scream escaped her as she further lost control. He didn’t even bother to muffle his orgasm as he came right alongside her. It was so good that it was borderline painful, as evident in his grunts and moans that accompanied his thrusts for each spurt of cum her pulsing cunt drained from him. Should a man his age even have the capacity to cum that much, he wondered. Both continued to ride out the orgasm, writhing, trembling, panting, and whimpering as his thrusts began to slow down and eventually came to a halt altogether. He slipped out of her and rolled onto the side so as to avoid completely collapsing on her.

                It was a good minute before either of them could speak, let alone move. However, their breathing eventually became leveled and Lacey finally gained a grasp on some of her senses. Ronan spoke first.

                “How’s that for fucking your brains out?” He joked. She smiled and laughed when she playfully slapped his chest. She somehow mustered the strength to lift herself up and it was her turn to kiss him passionately. When she pulled away to look at him, he wiped the tears that managed to escape during the orgasm. He could feel her still trembling and he embraced her against him, trapping the warmth of her naked, sweat sheened body. She resigned himself into his embrace, letting her body rest against his.

                “Keep fucking me like that and I may never leave.” She joked back. He chuckled breathily but he couldn’t help but feel both dread and hope. Archie said she likes him, maybe would stay with him. _She’ll never want to stay with you, she has a life to live. She can’t be stuck here with you,_ he thought to himself. “You said you like me.” She mentioned, ending the silence that followed his thoughts.

                “Yes, I do. I like you a lot Lacey.”

                “Why?” She couldn’t hide the incredulity in her voice at the thought of someone like him liking a girl like her.

                “Does there have to be a reason?” He questioned, almost defensively.

                “Yes. A man as distinguished and accomplished as you doesn’t like someone like me just because.” She stated simply yet sadly.

                “Look at me.” He commanded. She lifted herself up without trembling to meet his eyes. “Sweetheart, you are fucked up beyond repair but so am I. People like you and I, we lose ourselves before we even have a chance. I’ve been drawn to you from the moment I met you and I think there’s some sort of reason for that. I don’t care about what you’ve done. All I know is, when I’m around you, I feel hope. When I’m with you, I actually _feel_ something. I don’t feel so empty and numb. That’s why I like you.” He explained. Her eyes were glossy and she stared at him intently, trying to find some hint of a lie in his face and failing. She kissed once more, this time softly.

                “I like you too… For the same reasons mostly. Things suck a lot less when I’m around you.” She explained lamely and laid her head back on his chest. He intertwined his fingers into hers and brought them to his lips and kissed them. It was a small gesture but it made her smile. She closed her eyes in contentment, not wanting to say something that could ruin this sense of domesticity. She yawned, the night’s events finally taking its toll on her. He sensed her exhaustion and was feeling it too. They somehow managed to get under the blanket without fully leaving each other’s hold. “Goodnight Ronan.” She said softly.

                “Goodnight Lace. Sweet dreams.”

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took so long. I'm working on making my chapters longer so it takes more time. As always, constructive criticism is always welcome! If you'd like to suggest prompts, that's alright too because I sometimes need inspiration/ideas. Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy ;)


	8. Monster Man and Butterfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lacey and Gold go on a date. Someone from her troubled past makes an appearance and Lacey reverts back to her old, violent ways. Gold fucks up and Lacey gets hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so damn long to update! School and work are slowly but surely killing the fuck out of me. Anyway, this is yet another attempt at smut and angst. I'm not that good but I'm trying.

There was a whimpering noise coming from the body next to him. Lacey was having another nightmare. She sounded like a child stirring in its sleep from a terrible dream. He remembered that sound very clearly from the occasions in which he would have to wake his little boy from his nightmares.

“Lacey,” he whispered but she didn’t respond so he reached for her shoulder. He called out for her again, this time louder. She gasped as she was awoken and realized where she was and who she was with, realized she was safe.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.” He put an arm around her and tugged her close. “A nightmare I presume?”

She nodded yes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” She said softly.

“Well, what can I do to help?”

“Just continue to hold me.” She sounded empty so he held onto her tighter, wanting her to know she wasn’t alone. She started to softly recite that Robert Frost poem she loved so much. He listened to her recite the poems she had committed to memory until her voice died down and he played with her hair until she fell asleep. He followed her shortly after promising that he’d do whatever it took to stop her pain.

XXXX

It was around noon when the phone in his office rang. Regina had finally gotten back to him, after weeks of waiting. He was beginning to get seriously annoyed waiting on her.

“Regina, it’s about damn time.” He growled.

“Hey, you wanted me to work with that woman, it was bound to take time.” She justified.

“Whatever, what did you two dig up?”

“His full name is Gaston Kingston. He comes from old money and from a prominent family in the wealthy town of Avonlea. That’s where this Belle girl was from. Apparently, they were high school sweethearts and Miss Swan says they were rumored to be engaged before she went missing. Given his record, he’s an ass. There have been a few sexual harassment and assault cases against him but the charges never stuck. As of now, he’s working for the family business, training to take over for when daddy dearest retires.” She paused waiting for him to respond.

“Please tell me that’s not all you’ve found.” He said, almost threateningly.

“You offend me. Of course that’s not all I found. I contacted an old friend of mine who got me access to his financial records and there’s a recent withdrawal of a big sum of money. Nearly ten thousand dollars in cash. I still don’t know what for though. But there was also a big withdrawal of money from his account around the time Belle went missing. So if he did have something to do with her disappearance or death, it could involve that money. Another thing, her family and his ran in the same social circle, both families were filthy rich. There was talk of a future business merger but things went south when Belle went missing.”

“Do you have an address for this Gaston?” He finally asked.

She gave him the address and he knew very well what to do next. Regina gave him some other irrelevant details and he ended the call soon after. Not even a minute after hanging up on Regina did his phone ring once more.

He spoke impatiently, “What now, Regina?”

“Regina? Why are you expecting a call from that bitch?” Jefferson’s voice rang out.

 “Jefferson,” He muttered, “you have an update for me?”

“Actually, that’s the problem. I finally tracked this guy down, after weeks of searching, and finally gave my good friends Sir Duct Tape and Mr. Rope a purpose, but now this guy won’t talk. I think he’s gonna have to go to the holy room.”

That was not the type of news he wanted to hear. “I hired you because you give me results. What’s so different about this one?”

“He’s particularly stubborn and a real piece of shit. None of my tactics have worked so far. I’m telling you Gold, I think he needs some time in the holy room.” he recommended.

“I can’t do that. Lacey is here and I don’t think she should be near that.”

“Well, it’s the only way you’ll get anything out of homeboy over here… By the way, how is sweet thing?”

He could practically see his grin through the phone. He needed this guy to talk but he didn’t want Lacey to be exposed to this. She hasn’t been in the basement, or the holy room as his associates call it, since the day he let her out. He ignored Jefferson’s question.

“Alright, I’ll figure it out. You bring him in tonight, sedated and silently, and we’ll deal with him tomorrow. Make sure Victor gets here. I’ll secure Graham’s and Dove’s assistance.”

“I’m on it, baby.” He flirted.

“Don’t call me that.” He warned.

“Oh, come on, you like it.”

“Goodbye Jefferson. Remember, sedated and silently, otherwise, you don’t get paid.” He hung up and took in a deep breath. The next twenty four hours should be fun.

XXXX

He was holed up in his office for hours taking phone calls and making arrangements for tomorrow’s business. He had just finished up his last call when a knock at the door made him look up from his desk. It was Lacey. She was dressed in a black, leather bustier with a black high-waisted, pleated skirt. Her blue eyes were heavily shadowed with black eyeshadow and mascara, her lips coated in a glossy nude shade. She looked like a gothic schoolgirl who sidelined as a dominatrix and he ashamedly and immediately became aroused at the sight of her.

“Hey.” He greeted her in a low, throaty voice. She took in the sight of him as she swayed her hips while walking towards him. He watched her hungrily and attentively. He wore a black suit with a blue tie and Lacey was about ready to pounce but she saw that he looked a bit tired and stressed.

“Hey,” she smiled and made her way to him behind his desk. She leaned against his desk which gave him a clear view of her perfect little legs that somehow looked as though they stretched on for miles. He could see a scar peeking out between the gap of skin from her top and skirt but he paid no mind. “See something you like?” She teased him the way he had teased her the night they first encountered each other.

“Indeed, I do.” He grinned and made out to touch her leg. She stopped him before he could and sat on his lap, causing a stir in his trousers.  
She ran her hands over his chest and they crept up to his shoulders, neck, and finally his soft hair. “Why does my big bad wolf look so stressed?” she pouted.

“Do I?” He closed his eyes as her fingers massaged his scalp. The scent of her perfume wafted its way to his nose. She smelled of sandalwood and violets with a hint of vanilla. It combined with the rosy scent of her shampoo and it was the sweetest, most delightful thing he ever smelled.

“Yes, you do… You’ve been in here all day and I’ve been out there all alone. With nothing or no one to do.” She smirked and he gripped her thigh with the hand that had begun trailing itself upwards. He opened his eyes to meet hers and he gave her a stern look. “What? It’s true,” she grabbed for one of his hands and brought it to her soaking wet cotton panties, she let him linger there as his breathing became heavier. “This is what happens when you’re all work and no play. I almost had to resort to masturbation, you know.” He had begun to stroke her over her panties when she threw his hand away and he stifled a whimper. He tried to bring his hand back but she closed her thighs together.

“So why didn’t you, dearie?” his voice was raspy and almost frustrated with her denial.

“What’s the point of getting myself off when the object of my affections isn’t but a couple of doors down?” she brought her lips to his and kissed him slowly, humming in his mouth when he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Besides, you look like you need to relieve some tension more than I do.” Her lips made their way down to his neck and she planted open mouthed kisses all over. She scraped her teeth right above a pulse point and enjoyed the sound that came out of his mouth. She shifted on his lap and felt his hardening cock through the fabric of his trousers, teasing him by tracing it with her index finger. Lacey knew exactly what she wanted to do. Her mouth nipped at his earlobe and she spoke softly, “Let me take care of you, baby.”

He nearly moaned but before he knew what was happening, she had wormed her way out of his hold and was on her knees in front of him. Staring at him, wide-eyed and excited, she began to palm his erection. “W-what are you…” he attempted to finish but couldn’t find the words.

“Let me take care of you, Ronan.” She repeated. He nodded his approval, too caught up in the pressure of her hand rubbing against him, and she jovially began to unbuckle his belt. It took little to no time before his cock sprung out and Lacey nearly clapped in victory. She had never seen it this close up before, despite spending almost every night in his bed, and she wondered how that happened. She was no novice to blowjobs but she wasn’t too experienced, if at all, when it came to men this well-endowed. She trailed her finger along the vein that ran from base to tip and watched it twitch at her light touch. She smiled and mimicked her finger with her tongue. He hissed at the sensation of her warm, wet tongue and watched how intently she studied his member. Her hand grasped the base of him and began to stroke up and down.

She stared up into his eyes and her eyes sparkled as though galaxies were hidden under that magnificent blue. “You have a wonderful cock.” She noted playfully and continued to stroke. The sight of his chest heaving up and down and the wild look in his eyes filled her with so much joy. She spent a few moments teasing his balls with her mouth, then she wrapped her mouth around the tip and swirled her tongue around it. Without easing into it, she took in as much of him as she could.

“Fuck, sweetheart!” He gripped on the arms of the chair, it felt as though all of his blood was headed south to where Lacey was so beautifully working her mouth. She hummed in pleasure around him and the vibrations sent his head rolling back and hips thrust involuntarily. It took a lot of concentration but she managed to take in the rest of him until her nose made contact with his abdomen and her throat was closed. He was panting heavily and doing his very best to maintain his composure. She let him go suddenly and took in a deep breath while she stroked his cock, now glistening with her saliva, so she could continue.

“Does that feel good?” She questioned airily and licked the pre cum that had formed at the tip from her ministrations.

“Yes,” he wound his fingers through her hair and gripped firmly, “keep going.” She happily resumed sucking him off, bobbing her head up and down while he held on to her hair. She listened to his heavy breathing and his moans as he fucked her pretty little mouth. She was so eagerly taking him and he couldn’t believe it. Her lips were magic wrapped around him. He stared down at her pretty blues, watching her mouth grip him, her cheeks hollowed. And holy fuck, her tongue was going to kill him!

He cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain as she lightly grazed her teeth on his member. That wicked glint in her eyes would end him one day. “You little tease.” He growled and she giggled. He tightened his grip on her hair and pulled her up, then tugged her underwear off roughly.

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to cum in my mouth.” She whined.

Ronan pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. “Well, I want to cum in that tight little cunt of yours. Any objections?” His rough voice sent shivers all over. In response, she mercilessly sunk down onto him. “Fuck! I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you.” She grinned and rolled her hips. Her pace was quick, hard, and ruthless.

His lips kissed her chest and neck, any skin he could reach. She was still fully clothed, save for her underwear. Her skirt was hitched at her hips. Her leather clad torso pressed against his as she rode him.

She ran her fingers through his silk hair, resting on the nape of his neck for support. His hands gripped her ass as she moved up and down. “This is what I’ve wanted all day,” She whimpered, “your cock buried deep in my pussy... You feel s-so good!” He groaned at her words and the sight of her fucking him. He just stared at her with awe, trying to wrap his head around the sight. She knew it too.

She smiled at the way he was staring at her. His pupils were full blown, his mouth parted, hair disheveled. He was beautiful. She rode him harder because she was so close to coming and she was intent on making them cum together. She pressed her forehead against his and looked into his eyes.

“Fuck, please tell me you’re close!” She cried.

“Oh sweetheart, I’ve been close since you first got on your knees!”

“Good, because… I’m… cu- AHH!” They came in sync. Her cunt pulsing around his cock, buried so deep his seed practically shot straight into her womb. Her head rolled back and she continued shunting her hips, drawing out their orgasms. His office filled with their moaning and panting until she stilled and kissed him hard and sloppily.

She broke the kiss and pressed her forehead against his. “That make you feel better?” She chuckled.

“It was okay.” He feigned indifference.

She slapped his chest and they both laughed. This time it was he who kissed her. It was soft and sweet and it made her smile. “You know, you’re the only guy who’s ever made me cum like that.” She confessed.

“’Really?” He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Mmm hmm.” She bit her lip and her eyes were so bright with amusement when she looked at him. He found himself staring at her in amazement like he did when she was fucking him, well, like he always did when she wasn’t looking.

“Have dinner with me.” He requested, smiling sincerely.

“Is that what a quick fuck and a compliment gets me?” She winked.

“No, it’s what an empty stomach and a beautiful girl gets me.”

Lacey blushed and her smile faltered just a bit when she spoke, “You really want to have dinner with me?” There was doubt hidden in her voice and he wanted to eradicate it.

“Yes,” he said seriously, caressing her cheek and watching this light in her eyes that, in turn, gave him light.

“Okay, yeah.” She accepted, trying very hard not to grin like a little girl who was just asked to prom. “Let me just, uh, clean up.”

“I should probably do the same.” He kissed her once more, slowly and sweetly. When he pulled away, Lacey was feeling a bit light-headed. “Meet me at the door in, say, twenty minutes.”

She got off of his lap and pulled her underwear back on. “Alright, don’t keep me waiting, old man.”

She sauntered off and Ronan couldn’t help but gaze at her as she walked away. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He called after her.

Lacey had never been on a real date. She didn’t count the ones with Gaston. Those weren’t dates, they were impending doom. This was the first time since him that a guy had asked her to dinner and she had no clue what to do. What would they talk about? Was this a good idea? Drinking and fucking was one thing, but dinner… That was relationship shit. And this isn’t a relationship… Is it? Perhaps they should talk about that, but not on a date, if that’s what this could be called.

_Oh god, this is confusing. Enough Lacey! Just freshen up, go to dinner, and get laid afterwards._

She reapplied her nude lipstick, straightened her skirt, put on her boots and leather jacket, and then met Ronan downstairs. She could be an assassin with an outfit and body like that.

XXXX

The couple arrived at the most expensive restaurant in town and Lacey was slightly disheartened. She thought he’d take her to an Applebee’s or a Red Lobster, not a five-star restaurant with a valet. She was no stranger to these types of places. When she was Belle, she’d only eat at the finest of establishments because that’s what her father expected.

However, she was Lacey now. And Lacey didn’t eat at places where the cost of a meal could cover someone’s bills. She was clearly underdressed. The women wore designer dresses, fur coats, and expensive jewelry while the men wore designer suits. Ronan wore nothing but designer suits so there was no indication that she’d have to dress classy.

The whispers were a thrill. As they were escorted to their table, she could hear hushed whispers of _what is she wearing? Do you think she’s an escort_? And her favorite _he’s probably her sugar daddy_. That didn’t stop their husbands and dates from staring, though. Lacey was well aware of how short her skirt was and how the platform of her boots elongated her legs. The women gave her distasteful looks as she put on a show, swaying her hips and winking at the men who dared make eye contact with the vixen. Ronan caught on to her antics and noticed the way these men stared at her hungrily so he held her possessively close.

“Easy, Lace. You may just ruin some marriages.” He teased. Honestly, he loved that she wasn’t afraid of offending these snooty people with their sense of superiority and entitlement. He hated them as much as she did.

They were seated at a table in the back. It was private and had a nice window view of the city nightlife. After Ronan ordered an expensive bottle of merlot, Lacey’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Why did you bring me here of all places?” She interrogated, staring at him intently as though searching for any hint of deception.

“I did say I’d take you to dinner,” he stated plainly, “do you not like it?”

She shook her head, “Oh no, I think it’s beautiful. But why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve dressed a bit more appropriately. I look like a hooker compared to everyone here.”

“I think you look stunning.” He told her in that warm tone that always made her stomach flutter.

“Of course you do, I fucked you in this outfit.”

His mouth curled into a lascivious grin. “That doesn’t change anything. You could be dressed in rags and I’d have still brought you here. No one can say anything about it because I own this place.”

 _Fucking hell, what doesn’t he own?_ The wine came just as she was about to say something snarky. The waiter took their orders and Lacey was pretty sure she ordered something that was hopefully chicken and pasta.

The wine was wonderful. It was slightly bittersweet and tasted like blackberries. When the waiter left, she filled her glass almost to the brim, earning an amused look from Ronan.

Lacey was having a great time. She laughed, genuinely laughed, and smiled throughout dinner. The conversations were interesting and easy, the dinner was delicious, and Ronan found himself forgetting all of his stresses. At least until he received Jefferson’s text.

_The subject is in the holy room._

It was a terrible idea, letting Jefferson bring this man into the house while Lacey was staying there. She was doing so well in her sessions with Dr. Hopper. She was happier and more open and he felt like he was jeopardizing her progress. If she knew what was going to happen in the basement, she may fall back into her anger and trauma.

Lacey’s foot brushing up against his leg completely obliterated all negativity and the salacious grin she was flashing sent a shooting electricity below his waist.

Her voice was low and throaty when she spoke. “You wanna get out of here? Then maybe you can fuck me with this outfit off.”

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Yeah, let’s go.”

She chuckled and they quickly stood up to leave. “Oh, wait!”

“What? What’s wrong?”

She grabbed the wine bottle and chugged what was left. “Alright, now let’s go.”

“How does someone so tiny consume so much alcohol?” He asked fascinatedly.

“Practice, I guess.” She shrugged and intertwined their fingers, dragging him outside of the restaurant.

They waited for the valet to bring the car around and Lacey found it very difficult to keep her hands to herself. When the valet pulled up, the young guy that stepped out gazed at Lacey, staring slightly open-mouthed while taking in her whole form.

“Hey,” he greeted. He was cute, with his dark hair and dark eyes. He seemed to not notice Ronan’s presence.

“ Hi.” She smiled at him and felt Ronan’s grip on her tighten. She held out her hand to grab the keys and it seemed to break him out of his reverie.

“Uhh, here’s your keys.” He handed them to Ronan and turned his focus back to Lacey. “You and your father have a good night.”

It was an innocent mistake on the boy’s part but Lacey absolutely beamed. Gold’s face formed into a snarl.

“You little sh-“

He was cut off by Lacey’s booming voice. “Thank you! We will, now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a thing to get to.” She leaned into Gold and subtly pinched his ass. His hips bucked and he scowled at her. “Let’s go daddy!” She laughed hysterically as she got in the car, so hard she thought her stomach would be sore the next day.

“You had way too much fun with that.” He grumbled whilst driving off.

“I’m sorry, but you should have seen your face!” Lacey chuckled and nudged his arm affectionately.

Ronan rolled his eyes, “Well, you should have seen the way that ass was looking at you, as though I hadn’t been standing next to you.”

“In his defense, he did think you were my father.”

“Shut up.”

Ronan was hesitant to bring Lacey home. He knew the basement was soundproof but it didn’t feel right lying to her like that. She really couldn’t know what was going on down there.  
He took her for a milkshake. She ordered a strawberry flavor, her favorite. Lacey couldn’t remember the last time she had one. It reminded her of a good, simple time. A time where everything was still. There was no mess in her head, no constant fear and hatred of the men who hurt her. There was no fear or hatred of herself. She missed that.

Lacey remembered how Belle used to hang out with her friends after long days of studying. They would head to the local diner and order burgers, fries, and milkshakes. They were some of her best memories, the only time she ever felt like a real teenager. Youth was something that seemed so far away to her. Obviously, she was well aware that she was young but after her ordeal, youth just didn’t make sense to her anymore. How could she be young after all the shit she went through? After all of the pain that drained out any sense of innocence and freedom she had?

When he finally could no longer come up with any other excuses to keep her out of the house, he took her home. Lacey was unsuspecting. The car ride home was soothing and peaceful to her. She blasted Lana Del Rey with the window down and closed her eyes as she sang along and smiled at how content she was in that moment. She was not a prisoner. She was not a victim. At that moment, the world was a beautiful place. _  
_

Ronan stole glances at her blissful state. There was still a lot of pain and unresolved anger and betrayal in her but damn if she didn’t look like she was okay, like she was happy. If Lacey could stay like that forever, he would do anything in his power to protect her from any outside dangers and to keep her that way for her sake. Seeing her like this was a gift.

XXXX

“I had an amazing time tonight.” Lacey smiled as she stepped closer to him. They were at the front door, waiting for Ronan to navigate his key to let them in.

He held the key in his hand but his attention turned to her and the way she spoke heavily while looking at him through darkened, hooded eyes. “As did I. We should do it again.”

“Yes, we should.” Her arms wound their way around his neck and her lips pressed softly against his. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight, prompting her to kiss him harder.

Her mouth tasted sweet, lingering with the strawberry flavor of the milkshake she had. In the cold of night, Lacey felt nothing but warmth in his arms and fluttering in her heart. She lost her ability to think when he pinned her to the door, causing an audible moan that he swallowed eagerly. Everything he did felt like fire, a beautiful, cool blue flame coursing through her veins. And god, when he lifted her leg around his hip and ground against her core, she absolutely keened. Throwing her head back in pleasure, she granted him the opportunity to suck on her neck and Lacey swore under her breath.

Ronan wasn’t sure where this sudden eagerness was coming from. Perhaps to take his mind off of the man currently in his basement, or maybe Lacey was just turning him into a hormone crazed teenager. Either way, he wanted her more than anything so when she propositioned him to take her to bed, he practically shouted his compliance.

He nearly tore off Lacey’s clothes in his haste to get her naked and in bed. He had returned her earlier favor and ate her out with such ferocity, Lacey thought she might explode from her orgasm. And, oh god, when he fucked her, it was euphoric. He took his time with her. For being a middle-aged man, he sure had a hell of an endurance rate because he made sure she came on his cock twice before he finally let go.

Lacey fell asleep shortly thereafter, thoroughly exhausted after coming four times in one day. For Ronan, however, sleep didn’t come so easily. He had too much to worry about. His main concern was getting Lacey out of the house for a couple of hours while he did what he had to do.

XXXX

She woke up to startling gray eyes. Her heart beat quickened because for a split second, she thought she was seeing Gaston’s eyes. But these ones were bright and had hints of green in them, and they were too young. She rose up and saw a little girl with blonde hair sucking her thumb. Ronan was gone, his side of the bed empty and his cane gone from its usual place.

“Hi.” The little girl greeted in a small voice.

“Hello.” Lacey responded groggily.

“Where are your pants?” She asked. Lacey became red and hastened to cover herself. She wasn’t entirely indecent. At least her oversized shirt covered her private areas and she was wearing underwear.

“Alex!” The little girl startled at Ashley’s voice.

“Yes, Momma?”

“What have I told you about leaving the TV room? You are not to go in any other room, especially Mr. Gold’s now get out. Get ready, I’m taking you to your grandfather’s.”

“Aww, but mom, I want to stay with you and her.” She pointed at Lacey.

“No you don’t. Now get ready.” The young mother commanded. The little girl huffed and left reluctantly.

“Sorry about that, Lacey.” Ashley apologized.

Lacey mumbled incoherently and plopped herself back down on the pillow and tried to fall back asleep when a pillow hit her head.

“What the fuck, Ashley?!” Lacey sat up, shocked and confused.

“You need to get up, honey. We’re going shopping.”

Ashley has lost her mind. “Shopping? I can’t go shopping, I’m broke. Now, let me sleep.” She mumbled.

“You don’t need money. I’ve got the boss’s card.” She finished in a sing song voice.

Lacey sat up quickly and sure enough, Ashley was holding Gold’s credit card. “He gave it to you?” She raised an eyebrow in question.

“Yes, and he says I am to bring you home when you’ve bought a new wardrobe.”

Lacey couldn’t believe him. She was both flattered and insecure. She had little money to her name and she was never really one to rely on someone for her basic necessities. He was already providing her food, room and board. He shouldn’t have to buy her clothes as well.

“I can’t let him-“

“He also said I have to make you go or he’ll fire me and I’ve got two kids, honey. So if you don’t get up and come with me, I’ll kill you.” Ashley said sweetly.

Well, that settled that then. She got dressed as quickly as she could and readied herself for a day of shopping with a quick morning glass of wine.

Lacey stepped out of the house into the cold, Maine air. The sky was, as usual, filled with overcast but the air was nice and cool on her skin and it filled her lungs refreshingly. She noticed Ronan’s car was still parked in the driveway, which was strange. He left on business for the day so why was his car still here? She reasoned that he must have got a ride from Graham.

Ashley and Lacey dropped off little Alex and her baby boy Thomas with their grandfather. She learned that Ashley had Alex right after high school. Gold gave her a job as his housekeeper so long as she live in his other guest house.

“Sean and I owe him everything. He gave us a chance when no one else would.”

Lacey knew Gold could be charitable and caring but it was still strange to hear him spoken about in such a manner. She liked that he could surprise her like that. Ronan liked to believe that he was a bad person but he wasn’t. After all, he had done so much for Lacey, and apparently, she wasn’t the only one he pulled out of the gutter. An idea occurred to Lacey. If Ashley had worked for him this long, maybe she would know something about a question that’s been killing her.

“Ash, do you know anything about Gold’s son?”

“Umm, well, I know that he’s dead but other than that, no. I’m not allowed to clean Gold’s office or his son’s room. “

Interesting. Gold never talked about his son. And Lacey never asked. It’s not that she didn’t care. She just didn’t want to bring up anything that might make him shut her out. They were doing so well with each other and she didn’t want to risk losing that. For once, Lacey was playing it safe.

Wait, no she wasn’t. This was a risk. Liking someone like this and caring for them, really caring for them, was a risk. Everyone she ever cared about either hurt her or left. But she was tired of playing it safe and being scared of what could happen if she just let someone care about her. She was tired of the safety of one-night stands and believing that was all she’d be worth. He made Lacey feel special and good and worth more than a one-night stand. Ronan made her forget the things _they_ made her feel and she wanted that. She’d risk it for that.

XXXX

Ashley was a great bargain shopper and it didn’t hurt that she had pretty good taste. Lacey’s first impression of Ashley was a bit vanilla but, apparently, she was quite the party girl before she became a soccer mom. So with some help from Ashley, Lacey had some pretty hot clothes at exceptional prices. Her favorites were the assortments of lace and silk bra and panty sets she bought at Victoria’s Secret. Even Ashley got her own set, courtesy of Ronan’s credit card. Lacey was sure he wouldn’t mind; and even if he did, she’d just seduce him until he forgot.

They were just about to enter a shoe store when Ashley got a call. Baby Thomas was running a high fever and she had to get to the hospital.

“I’m so sorry Lace. I was supposed to keep you busy with a girl’s day out but-“

Lacey interrupted, “Hey, you don’t need to justify yourself to me. You need to be with your kids. Besides, I basically have all that I need now.” She gestured to the armful of shopping bags she was carrying.

Ashley gave her a grateful look, her eyes glossy with the emotions spinning in her head. “Well, god only knows how long I’ll be at the hospital. Do you want me to drop you off home real quick?”

“Yeah, please.”

XXXX

Lacey was excited to be home. She couldn’t wait to show Gold what she bought and to intimately thank him for it. The house was silent and empty, almost eerily so. After storing her bags into her room, she headed downstairs to make herself some lunch. As she descended the stairs, however, she heard a door opening and male voices.

Graham and some blonde dude were muttering something outside of the basement.

“What’s going on?”

Graham startled. “Lacey! Hi, what are you doing here?”

_Okay, that’s strange._

“Thomas got sick so Ash dropped me off. Is Ronan in there?” She interrogated.

The blonde man looked away and Graham stiffened. “Nope. I was just, uh, looking for some tools. My sink is acting up.”

 _God, this man is a terrible liar._ Lacey knew exactly what kind of tools were down there and they weren’t the kind you fixed your plumbing with.

“So where is he, then?” She crossed her arms and asked skeptically.

“Don’t know, he didn’t tell me.”

“Uh-huh.” She nodded and took a step forward.

Just as she was about to call him out on his lying, another man, who was exceedingly tall, came out of the basement. Once the door opened, she heard a shout. She slipped inside before Graham could stop her and Lacey was not prepared for the sight she saw.

There were six men, including Ronan, in the room. She only knew Graham and vaguely recognized the flamboyantly dressed Jefferson, although they had never been formally introduced. The tall guy and the blonde dude were completely new to her. The sixth man, however, made her gasp. She’d recognize him anywhere, although chained up in Gold’s basement- much like she was at one point- was the last place she expected him to be. It was as though a hazard had just stepped into the room because the room fell silent and they stared at Lacey.

Gold stood next to the man, his jacket was off and draped over a chair. The sleeves of his light blue dress shirt were rolled up just above the elbow and there was specks of blood on his shirt and knuckles. The second he laid eyes on Lacey, his eyes grew wide.

“Lacey, you’re not supposed to be here. Would you wait outside, please?” Ronan’s voice was all caution and wary.

Lacey did not listen. Now was not the time to listen.

All men stared at her. They were all either elaborately dressed or in clothing more suitable for an occasion such as torturing a man. Lacey looked like a lost girl who walked into a bar fight in her jean shorts and low cut tank top. It didn’t help that she was barefoot. In that moment, she had no room in her mind to care about how out of place she looked in there.

Her focus was solely on the bloodied man hanging on the chains, Lafayette, or Laff- that’s what Gaston and his mates had called him. He was Gaston’s right hand man when it came to the torture. Laff was one of the more sexually sadistic ones. He loved her screams almost as much as Gaston did, maybe even more.

XXXX

_“Scream for me, sweet Belle! You little slut, I bet you like this. Why else haven’t you agreed to marry Gaston?” His ugly, dark eyes bore into hers and he licked his lips as he stared the pretty girl down. “Maybe, I can convince Gaston to let us fuck you, virginity pact be damned. That’ll really break you in… I promise to be gentle…”_

_His smile was sinister and it revealed his crooked teeth, like the type of monster man that hides in little kids’ closets. Belle couldn’t even muster a scream when he shoved the burning cigarette butt into her side, her voice was so hoarse and exhausted. All he got was a pain-filled grunt and he became dissatisfied with her reactions. Belle’s eyes were heavy and irritated from crying, it was getting harder and harder to fight. If she just willed herself to not breathe, it would be over. But she had to do the brave thing, for her mother; She had always encouraged her to do the brave thing, no matter the consequences. Once he was out the door, Belle fell into an exhausted sleep and dreamt of a garden. A beautiful, colorful garden where sadness and pain did not exist._

XXXX

Now, Lafayette was bound and hopeless, just like she was. His mouth bled and one of his eyes was swollen. Belle stepped further into the room and no one dared stop her, not while she had that maniacally excited look of surprise on her face. Ronan tried to stop her but she just held a hand up in warning.

It was too late. Nearly months of recovery and he lost her within ten seconds. Against the wall, stood a tray of all kinds of tools and devices. Things ranging from scalpels and butcher knives to tasers and syringes filled with a yellowish substance. It was fate when she saw the silver butterfly knife. She knew those very well, they were her specialty when she trained during her initial _recovery_. She picked it up and caressed it as if it were her child. To familiarize herself, Lacey did the Zen rollover with the knife, turning, twisting, and flicking the knife this way and that. The power flowed through her like a drug after being sober for so long. She felt safe and dangerous, all at once. She grinned broadly for she was a villain reacquainted with her loyal sidekick. _  
_

The men all watched, wide-eyed and brows raised, impressed at the petite thing wielding a butterfly knife as though it were her favorite childhood toy. Jefferson, the crazy bastard he was, had to use every ounce of self-control not to clap and cheer her on. Ronan, impressed as he was, still felt dread in the pit of his stomach.

“No… You’re dead… You can’t be here.” Lafayette croaked.

Lacey’s head snapped towards his direction when his voice brought her out of her nostalgic haze. “I-remember-you.” She sang. Her voice was low and too playful to be anything but menacing. Lacey took deliberately slow steps towards the man until she was within arms distance.

“Was I that good?” He retorted smugly.

The high pitched giggle that she emitted sent the wrong kind of chills down Ronan’s spine. It was a warning, her signal for the danger she was about to become. “Indeed, you were. You certainly left your impression on me.”

Lacey lifted her shirt to show him her scars. She studied his reaction, observing the way he licked his lips while he watched some of his handiwork. He was disgusting and vile and she wanted to hurt him more than anything in the world.

“Does this turn you on?” She continued, so softly it was almost difficult for the others to hear, “does it make you hard, you sick fuck?”

The man never broke eye contact, even as Lacey continued to absentmindedly twirl the knife in her hands. He masked his fear very well with arrogance.

“You know, I never did get the chance to fuck you. Damn shame, really. I’ve been here since last and if you’d have come down we could have had a lot of fun, you and I.” He scanned her body predatorily. Any other time, it would have made her sick coming from him. But Lacey was no weak ass bitch for moments like this. Ronan was the only one who ever broke her when she was in her element.

Lacey was now inches from his face. She could smell the cheap cigarettes on his breath.

_Last night…_

A throaty chuckle escaped as she feigned bashfulness. “Do you promise to be gentle?” She asked, sounding like a naïve girl about to lose her virginity on homecoming night.

Ronan, very slowly, silently, and carefully stepped towards Lacey, not at all liking the direction this conversation was taking.

He gave her that ugly ass smile that showed his crooked teeth. “Cross my heart, sweet Belle.”

That was her trigger, him finally using her name.

“Well, in that case…” Lacey met his eyes intently, smirking, and it was that look in her eyes, that enjoyment that finally made Lafayette’s eyes show a glimmer of fear. “Scream for me.”

In a flash, Lacey managed to mark an “X” into his chest. Two long gashes to cross his heart and may he hope to die. His guttural scream was beautiful. She heard Ronan’s voice from what sounded like a large distance, screaming her name. But she couldn’t be bothered with it, not while she marveled in her art. Blood seeped out of the tears in his shirt. The wounds wouldn’t kill him. They were too shallow to puncture anything but deep enough so that he’d probably need stitches.

“X marks the spot!” She taunted just as Ronan reached her. He grabbed for her wrist and she surrendered, letting the knife fall to the floor. _  
_

Ronan looked at her, worry in his eyes, but all she could do was gaze back with the remnants of victory and vengeance Lafayette’s screams were providing for her.

“Outside, now.” He commanded in a low, authoritative voice. His eyes shone with anger and regret. This was all a mess.

Lacey sauntered towards the door and he followed after, the sound of his cane tapping was the only other sound in the room besides Laff’s whimpers. She purposely stopped in front of Jefferson, who was grinning like a kid blessed with a treat. She scanned his body and loud attire. He was handsome, with eyes almost as blue as hers and light stubble covering his face.

“Marry me.” Jefferson said in awe.

Lacey caressed his cheek affectionately and winked at him.

“Enough, you two.” Ronan’s stern voice interrupted their introduction and he grabbed Lacey’s arm rather possessively. “All of you, clean this up!”

He shut the door behind them. The house was as silent as when she first walked in not thirty minutes ago. The basement really was soundproof.

Lacey continued walking until she was at the foot of the stairs. That’s when he called after her.

“Lacey, wait!”

Immediately, she turned to him, ready to fight while her defenses were still up.

“How dare you! How dare you bring that man here and not tell me about it! This was my revenge! That was part of the deal.”

“No, the deal was, I get you your revenge, I didn’t specify that you be the one to enact it.”

“Oh, fuck you, Ronan!” She was shaking with anger and rage. She wanted to slap him and pull his hair out, something to provide some relief. “This is my shit, not yours. Were you just going to do whatever the fuck it was you were going to do and not tell me?”

“I would have told you, once it was all over and we got the intel we needed.”

Lacey huffed in indignation. “I can’t believe you…” _Last night…_ It had been ringing in the back of her head since Laff mentioned it. Her defenses began to falter at her realization. “And last night- dinner- that was just to get me out of the house wasn’t it? You- you didn’t want to have dinner with me because you care for me. You wanted to have dinner because you didn’t want any witnesses!” _Of course, Lacey. Why would he willingly take you out and treat you like you mattered without some sort of ulterior motive? All of that stuff he said about liking you was a joke._

Lacey’s walls were breaking. She let herself feel and now she was suffering the consequences. It angered her, the way her throat constricted with knots that she tried to desperately to swallow and the tears that threatened to fall. God, it hurt so fucking badly!

“No, Lace, that’s not-“ _  
_

“And the shopping spree? Having Ashley take me out for the day? That was to get me out of your hair while you handled business. God, how could I be so stupid?! How could I fucking believe that just maybe, you actually liked me enough to treat me like I meant something more to you than just a charity case and an easy fuck?” _Is this what heartbreak feels like? I don’t want it! I don’t want to feel anymore._

Christ, what did he do? It wasn’t supposed to be like this! She wasn’t supposed to know! The pain of what he was making her feel was written on his face. None of it was true. He did all of that because he cared, quite a lot. And the assumptions she was making were like a stab in the gut.

“Lacey, please, listen to me. That is not why I did all of those things. I really do care about you and everything I did within the past twenty-four hours has been _because_ I care about you. I wanted to protect you. You were doing so well with your sessions and your night terrors were less frequent. You were smiling and laughing and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that! I knew that by telling you about this, it would just trigger all of the things that haunt you and I couldn’t do that to you!” _  
_

She took in a deep, shaking breath before she spoke. “Ronan, those things will always haunt me. I will always be broken. I wasn’t smiling and laughing because those ghosts were going away. I was doing those things because for the first time, in years, I had someone in my life who brought light into all of that fucking darkness, who helped me see past the demons. What you just witnessed in there, that was me. That was Lacey taking back some semblance of control that _they_ took from me. I’m only bits and pieces of Belle. I’m sorry I can’t be more. I’m- I’m sorry I can’t be what you deserve.” She bit her lip to keep it from trembling further than it already was. Lacey’s arms were wrapped tightly and protectively around her, her body stiff from the tension of all of her emotions.

“Lace, that’s not what-“

“Just don’t, Ronan! I- I can’t deal with any of this right now. I’m going to my room.”

She was quickly making her way up the stairs. He wouldn’t catch up to her with his leg. “Lacey, please!”

The angry and broken brunette ignored him. She slammed her bedroom door shut and fell to the floor, clutching her chest and sobbing until she couldn’t breathe. She then proceeded to kick all of her shopping bags around in frustration. She should have known better. After what she did to him, he could never fully and truly care for her. She had risked her feelings and look where that had gotten her. Perhaps she was born to be a one-night stand who drank too much and could work the hell out of a butterfly knife. Perhaps Lacey would never be loved by anyone. She belongs to no one. No one belongs to her. It was better that way. It was safe.

While Lacey released her anger out on shopping bags and a bottle of whiskey upstairs, Ronan released his on vases and any sort of ceramic or glass his cane could reach. He fucked up. Just yesterday, they were fine, all was good. But he went and fucked it all up. It’s his fault Lacey went back to the aggressive, violent girl she worked so hard to dispel. It’s his fault she thinks she’s not what he deserves. It’s his fault she’s going to shut him out. It’s all his fucking fault and the most unforgivable fault of all: Lacey thinks she’s to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that was my attempt. Please, comment and give me feedback! And if you guys have prompts/ideas please feel free to let me know. Maybe you can provide the inspiration and motivation I need. Well, I hope you guys enjoy! (:


	9. Cold as Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically the aftermath of Ronan's betrayal. Lacey falls into a depression. They argue. Angry smut happens..

Lacey hadn’t left her room in three days. Well, he assumed she left her room at some point because he found copious amounts of his wine and whiskey disappearing. But he hadn’t seen her. Ronan even went so far as to wait outside of her room for a while but to no avail. Lacey didn’t want to be seen.

He eventually sent Ashley in to talk to her. Just to see if she was okay.

“Lacey, honey, it’s me. Open up.”

There was silence at first.

“Is he with you?” Her voice was small and raspy from crying.

Ashley sighed. “No, Just me.”

Lacey opened her door to let her in. Her room was a mess and the housekeeper in Ashley had the urge to clean up. But she resisted, she’d do that later. Right now, she had a friend to help. “I brought you some food. There’s even some breads and chocolates for all the wine you’ve been stealing. It’s all from him.”

“I’m not hungry.” Lacey lied. She was famished but she was finding it hard to keep down food. And she didn’t want to eat anything that had to do with Ronan. His booze was an exception. (Unbeknownst to her, Ronan kept buying the best wine, whiskey, and beer for her. It was his subtle way of apologizing.)

Ashley nodded. “Well, it’s there if you need it… You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel like talking. I just want to sleep.”

She sighed once more in exasperation. “Well, are you going to be okay?”

“I don’t know.” She answered concisely.

Ashley let her be. Lacey, clearly, wasn’t going to talk. When Gold asked for an update, all Ashley could say was that she’s at least semi-responsive. Gold’s heart sunk a bit. He only wanted to talk to her, but the only reaction he’d got from her was a pillow being thrown at the door when he knocked.

His next option was Dr. Hopper. Surely, she’d talk to him. Ronan had convinced her to talk to the doctor about her trauma so she should easily be able to talk him. But that failed too.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Archie asked accusatorily.

Ronan just stared down guiltily. “What did she tell you?”

“Well, any other day, I’d say doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from telling you but since she said absolutely nothing, that won’t be an issue today.”

“What do you mean she said nothing?”

“I mean, I literally sat by her side for ten minutes while she lied in bed and stared at the wall. She’s practically catatonic.” He explained.

That hurt him even more than Ashley’s news.

XXXX

Lacey had nibbled on some chocolate and downed her wine before she felt her appetite diminish. All she did was drink, cry, read, sleep, and repeat. She couldn’t face anyone. She locked herself away to hide like the monster she was. Lacey wished she’d never come back from the mall. As much as she hated being ignorant and unaware, it would have hurt less.

She never should have opened herself up to him. And she never should have fucked him. Because now, all of those intimate moments they’d shared were contaminated by the betrayal she felt. She wasn’t sure what hurt more: Ronan keeping a secret of that magnitude from her or using her feelings for him to conceal that secret from her. Lacey was never supposed to fall for Ronan. Hell, she was never supposed to fall for anyone. Had she not fallen for him, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt. That’s the most basic law of intimate avoidance right? The law that every person protecting themselves has to follow.

XXXX

Ronan killed the man called Lafayette. Shortly after he shattered most of his glassware, he went down to the basement and shot the man in the head, watching his blood and brains bathe the floor. He was part of the reason Lacey was so tortured. Plus, he wasn’t supposed to know that Lacey, or Belle, was alive. The man couldn’t, nor did he deserve to, live.

It had been some time since he killed anyone. He tried to refrain from it for many reasons. Prison being the most obvious one. But the main reason was his son. Despite how troubled Bae may have been, he was a very sweet, sensitive boy. Gold hated the idea of what Bae would think of his father killing people. However, Lacey needed to be protected. Ronan couldn’t save his boy from his own demise but he would sure as hell protect the only other person he cared about.

XXXX

Lacey could hear the light sound of rain as she lie in the dark. It was a cloudy morning but she made sure all curtains were closed and all lights turned off so she could sulk in peace. This was how she fantasized her death. She would be alone, in the dark and exhausted out of her mind. She would go painlessly, preferably in her sleep. She would close her eyes and fall asleep, knowing that no one would miss her, nothing would change if she died and that in itself was a peaceful thought. Maybe if she just closed her eyes now…

Alas, her fantasy didn’t come true. She woke an hour later for no reason. It occurred to her that she created Lacey to be a cold-hearted bitch. She needed to be a bitch because Ronan turned her into a person with feelings and look what good that did her. As much as she missed him, she really had to be a bitch if she wanted to protect herself. It was the only way and hopefully, it would work.

XXXX

_Every day I wake up_

_Every day I wake up alone_

_Kill me, just kill me_

_Or get me out of the sun…_

All day. She had been playing that damn music since the morning. He didn’t mind it at first, thinking he deserved that slight annoyance. Aside from the drinking, it was her way of acting out and he had to give her that. He didn’t even mind when she played “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes for half an hour straight, early in the morning. After that, it was all of her usual bands: Motorhead, System of a Down, The Pretty Reckless, and all of the heavy artists he’d been forced to listen to when Lacey would spend nights and days in his bed. Playing her favorite artists and bands for him had been yet another way of opening up to him, of showing him how she felt and what went on in her head. And it had been an honor for him knowing she was putting that trust in him.

But it was well into the evening and she was still playing her music on full blast and he couldn’t take it anymore. He considered forcing his way into her room and shooting her damn stereo system. Instead, he marched to her bedroom door and banged on it until she opened it.

He had been taken aback to find Lacey in a black lace bralette with matching underwear and an unbuttoned, oversized black and red-checkered flannel haphazardly thrown on. (All things she had bought on her little shopping spree) Her hair was down and slightly tousled and she had what was quickly becoming her signature wine bottle in hand. Ronan tried not to be aroused and reminded himself of the purpose for his visit.

“What do you want?” She glared at him and took a sip of the half empty wine bottle.

“Turn that crap down.” He growled.

Lacey raised an eyebrow and contemplated her next move. She felt like being a petty bitch today so she gestured to her ear and spoke loudly. “I can’t hear you! You’ll have to come back later!”

She moved to shut the door but he stopped it with his hand. Lacey looked a bit surprised, his strength always surprised her, and stared him up and down. He was in his full armored suit, everything in his signature black except for the maroon dress shirt and matching silk tie. Damn this man and his impeccable sense of dress!

“Turn it down, now.”

The low rumble that came from somewhere deep in his throat made her feel a shiver and heat that she really didn’t want to feel. It’s hard to be a bitch and be turned on at the same time.

Rolling her eyes, she closed the door. He waited outside of her door for the volume to decrease, but it didn’t. It increased along with his anger and impatience. He was getting sick and tired of Lacey ignoring him and not listening. He was angry at her, at everyone who hurt her, and he was angry at himself so he did not have the capacity to deal with this damn music!

He banged on her door once more as though he were the police. When she opened the door again, she gave him an exasperated look. He stormed in, leaning heavily on his cane, and turned off the stereo. It smelled like a bar- cheap cigarettes, alcohol and all.

“What the fuck, Gold?!” She shouted.

“I told you to turn this the fuck down! This is my house and I’ve been putting up with your crap for days so when I say to lower the volume, you lower the fucking volume!”

Lacey’s scowl vanished and she smiled sweetly and took a swig of the wine. “Well, you won’t have to worry about putting up with my crap any longer.”

His brows furrowed and he put both hands on the gold handle of his cane in his intimidating stance.  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

She looked at him pointedly. “It means I’ll be out of here soon enough. You’ll no longer have to deal with me because I’m leaving.”

Ronan finally looked around her room and saw that her books were in a box, there were bags on the floor with some of her clothes. His gaze landed on her and his face was pure anger.

“The fuck you are!” He practically roared. “The deal-“

“The deal was that I get a fresh start! And I don’t have that, do I? Let’s just forget the deal. You and I, let’s just forget about all of this.” She pointed and gestured between the two of them.

_Forget about all of this?_ After all they’ve been through, she just wanted him to _forget_ it. How the hell was he supposed to _forget_ her? And how could she think that she could just leave?

“No, I told you right from the start no one breaks a deal with me, dearie. You can’t leave because you’re mine and I won’t let you.”

“Oh, you won’t let me?” She set the wine bottle down on her dresser, crossed her arms over her chest, and laughed. “I’m not yours, Ronan. And this _deal_ , was never much of a deal to begin with. I mean, think about it. You taking care of me, for _redemption_? As if people like us can be redeemed.” Lacey finished almost sadly and stepped closer to him. “You know what we got out of this? I got to play the fool who gets played and you got fucked… Like I said, let’s forget about all of this. Go our separate ways.”

Ronan felt like he’d been slapped. So he reacted the only way he could, the only way they both could- with hostility. “As I recall, dearie, you’re the one who wanted the sex. You’re the one who needed it. You practically threw yourself at me. You made it complicated, Lacey. _You_ got fucked, I just reaped the benefits when you kept coming back for more. So don’t act like I’m the only one who got something out of this!”

As he said it, he knew he didn’t mean it. But two could play at this venomous back and forth. Tears prickled at her eyes. He was right. She let her desires and hormones get in her way and she let herself fall for him. Lacey giggled in that way that told him they were in trouble.

“I guess I’m a worthless whore after all.” She mused. It was the ultimate blow to Ronan. He was only reinforcing the notion he had been trying to drive out of her mind. “Well, I’ll be gone soon enough. You won’t need to worry about me throwing myself at you any longer.”

She made to walk past him but he grabbed her arm. “I didn’t mean-“

“Yeah, you did.” She rasped with a watery smile. “It’s alright, baby. They all think that in the end.”

Frustrated as fuck, he gripped onto her shoulders and pinned her against the wall. “God damn it, Lacey! Will you just fucking listen?! I didn’t mean that, not a single word. I was just angry... I’m sorry, sweetheart.” His voice softened and it belied the death grip he had on her arms. She stared blankly into his eyes, her watery eyes meeting his as she tried to figure out what she wanted. “I need you to know that everything I did was for you. I meant what I said the other night about wanting to protect you. And it’s not because I want you to be someone else, I just want you to be happy.

“I hate that this haunts you, Lace. I really do. But I don’t expect you to suddenly be normal. I don’t want you to be someone else, I just want you. Lacey, Sweetheart, please, just talk to me… Tell me what to do. Tell me what I need to do to make you happy, to make you stay.”

Lacey watched the desperation in his eyes, confused. He can’t want her to stay. He cannot say those things to her, not now. She was angry at him, herself, at everything. She didn’t want his sweetness and apologies. She wanted to be as far away from him as possible. She could feel her resolve breaking in his hold on her and she didn’t like it.

So she did the only thing she knew to do in situations like these, where tension was too great to even fathom.

She kissed him, hard. She let the pleasure thrum through her body, allowed her mind to be clouded by how good he felt pressed against her slender body and how his tongue slid along hers in that way that always made her moan. Yes, this was easy. Even for Ronan, who let her use his body while she allowed him to use hers. Sex always made them feel good and took their minds off of the shit that was bothering them.

It’s just like how it was before they found each other. Fucking whoever was willing so that they forgot how lonely and shitty they actually were. Losing themselves in someone else, just for a moment.

They both tasted like alcohol. Lacey was bittersweet like the wine she'd come accustomed to drinking most evenings, and Gold tasted like the amber scotch he drank when he was stressed.

Ronan groped Lacey’s breasts through the thin fabric of her bra, rubbing and tugging her nipples with his skilled fingers while she moaned and thrashed her hips into his.

Lacey burned like never before, a searing heat at her core that needed to be dealt with. She lifted her leg and curled it around his hip. He happily pressed his erection into her core, gripping her ass and using his hold on her to apply the most fulfilling pressure. “Fuck yes!” She groaned at the relief.

He placed open-mouthed kisses on her neck, sucking and biting the places he knew would elicit a reaction. Ronan wanted to leave marks, like an animal marking his territory, letting the world and Lacey know that she was his.

Her fingers quickly worked at his belt and fly and roughly pulled his pants down along with his boxers. His cock sprung out, long and hard and Lacey wanted him more than ever. “Inside me. Now.”

Ronan grunted his assent and took the waistband of her underwear and ripped the flimsy material in half. She gasped and growled through gritted teeth, “Those were my favorite underwear, you ass!”

“So I’ll buy you fucking new ones!” He growled back and impaled Lacey in one swift motion. “Oh fuck!” He wailed. Maybe it’s because the past week was the longest he'd gone without sex since this fling with Lacey began and he was so sexually frustrated but he swore Lacey was at her hottest and her channel was painfully tight.

His pace was punishing and he was merciless, just like she wanted it. Lacey yelped when he lifted the leg keeping her grounded to join the other leg wrapped around him. “Oh Ronan!” She cried out. She hadn’t meant to let that endearing, lustful tone escape her but he was hitting the perfect angle and stimulating her clit and she was on top of the fucking world. Plus, hearing his name leave her lips like that made him rabid.

“That’s right, sweetheart, scream my name! You’re fucking mine! Now cum for me, Lacey!” Ronan whispered in her ear.

Lacey was on the verge of probably the best orgasm she’s ever had. And Ronan's voice was always a weakness of hers so with that command, she broke. Intense, blinding pleasure flooded her body, leaving her limp and flailing while he continued to pound into her. Using her shoulder to muffle his cry, he came like he never had before. Her walls were quite thoroughly squeezing the life out of him and his guttural grunts attested to that.

It was a while before their panting slowed and their minds cleared but eventually, Ronan set Lacey down on wobbly legs, but she was at least stable. Surprisingly, his ankle wasn’t bothering him but he knew it would later. Their eyes met and Lacey’s were unreadable.

Her panties were ruined and lying torn and tattered on the floor. He slipped his softened cock out of her and tucked himself back in.

“Lacey-“

“Thanks.” She said and walked away to her underwear drawer, purposely acting indifferent. Wrapping her flannel around her, she walked to the restroom to clean off the cum that was dripping obscenely down her leg. Her nice, lacey underwear were replaced with plain black cotton ones. He was still in the room when she went back in.

“Oh, you’re still here.”

He glared at her. “Of course, I’m still here. We need to talk about this.”

“Really? You still want to talk even though you’ve already reaped the benefits of my desperation?”

Lacey grabbed the wine bottle and downed the rest of it.

“I didn’t mean that, I told you. I was just mad… Lace, come on, talk to me.” He pleaded.

“Can’t. I’m all out of wine. Gotta get more.”

She left the room to get more wine and Ronan was about ready to break some things. Lacey was going to talk whether she liked it or not.

XXXX

Ronan was gone when she went back with both a bottle of merlot and Jack Daniels. She lied down, sipped some whiskey, and cried.

An hour later, there was a knocking at her door. A softer knocking but still firm.

“Go away, Ronan!”

“No. I want to talk.”

“Fuck your talking!”

On the other side of the door, Ronan sighed. “Look, Lacey, I’m not going anywhere until you open this door and we discuss this. You don’t even have to forgive me! Just say what you need to.”

He was met with silence.

“Alright, well I’m going to stay out here and recite every poem or story that I’ve committed to memory until you open the door.”

She could hear him slide down the wall as he sat down. And then he began..

Ronan started with Annabelle Lee by Edgar Alan Poe. It was her favorite. Then he read some Robert Frost, T.S Eliot, and Sylvia Plath. When that didn’t work, he brought out the big guns.

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.”

Lacey’s eyes watered as she sat on the other side of the door. “Stop.” She breathed deeply and her voice trembled, “You- you memorized Harry Potter?”

“Aye, I did. It’s your favorite. I went out and bought all seven books so I’ll read every single word until you-”

Tears fell down her cheek. She opened the door a crack and waited for him to get up and come in. “Talk.”

He stumbled a second, not sure of how to start. As far as he was concerned, he'd already done a lot of talking. “umm, I didn’t think you’d give in this early.. I thought I’d have more time.” He explained rather lamely.

She chuckled at him. “What were you thinking when you brought him here? How did you even find him?”

She sat down on the bed and he followed. “It wasn’t that hard, actually. I made some calls to the right people and found some names. Multiple names and addresses of the men who hurt you. He was just the most accessible scum. We needed information on Gaston and his operation. There’s more to him than just a successful business and I needed to know what I was working with.”

“You could’ve told me!” She said.

“I know! But I didn’t want to put you through that just yet.. I thought I could spare you all of the mess and once we got close enough to him… I’d tell you.”

He truly would have told her. Justice was important and crucial to Lacey’s recovery. However, revenge wasn’t justice. He figured he would handle the revenge and Lacey would get justice. He knew it was wrong to make decisions like that for her but he didn’t want Lacey to be ruined by that. But she was already ruined. And he could see how that could make her think he wanted her to be whole and something more. That was his fault. He knew that now.

“If you do get him, would you let me kill him?” She asked, trying to get a sense as to the extent of control he'd let her have.

Ronan hesitated, “I don’t know.. I don’t think it would be good for you but I doubt I’d be able to stop you anyway, right?”

A small smile crept on her lips. “Probably not.”

“Hey, how do you know how to work a knife like that? You really kind of freaked us out.”

“Umm, a friend taught me.. A long time ago.” She answered cryptically.

Ronan raised an eyebrow, “must have been some friend.”

“Yeah… Umm, what happened to him? Is he still here?” She inquired about Lafayette.

Ronan was silent for a moment, unable to look Lacey in the eye. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “I took care of him.”

“You killed him?” She looked at him slightly astonished. He just nodded.

Lacey’s reaction wasn’t what he expected. She kissed him. A soft peck on the cheek. “What was that for?”

She bit her lip and gazed at him with watery blue eyes. “For doing that.. And for caring.”

“Look, Lace, I know you think I expect you to be someone different, someone whole, but I don’t. I like you for who you are. I never knew Belle. And I’m sure she was a lovely girl, but you are the one I fell for, Lacey. You for all of your faults and all of the weight you carry. And you know what? If you want to hurt or kill every son of a bitch who hurt you, I’m not going to stop you. But if you do this, Lacey, you can’t come back from it. Remember, you couldn’t hurt me because your conscience kept telling you it was wrong. Murder will take a heavy toll on you. Do you understand?”

“Yes.. I understand, perfectly clear.” Of course she understood. After all, getting tortured by six men takes its toll just as much as murder. She knew better than anyone else the implications her actions could have.

“By the way, I’m sorry if I handled you roughly earlier and for all that shit I said.. I just don’t want you to leave, Lace. Not like this.”

“I won’t.” She said sincerely. “I was just really hurt and wanted to get away from everything. And I said some things I didn’t mean too..”

There was a long silence in which they both sat, unsure of what was going to happen now.

“So are we good, then?” he asked.

Lacey took his hand in hers. “Yeah, we’re good.” She stroked her thumb over his hand. “Will you stay with me tonight?.. I’ve missed you.”

“Of course.”

Ronan undressed until he was left in his boxers and undershirt and then curled up beside Lacey. He took in the scent of her and relief flooded his mind at the fact that Lacey was next to him. Her warm body was wrapped in his arms, her face nuzzling into his chest and legs intertwining in his.

Yeah, Lacey could do a lot better than him. But at this point in his miserable life, he needed her.

“You’re still not completely forgiven.” She felt the need to mention.

“I know.” He acknowledged and kissed the top of her head. But as long as she was staying, everything else would be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!. Like always, feel free to comment! If you have any suggestions/prompts, let me know! I'd be more than happy to consider.


	10. The Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about the torture Lacey experienced. Ronan kind of fucks up again and ends up making a confession to Lacey that changes them. (A pretty shitty summary, I just couldn't come up with a better one.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't help but feel like I'm moving too fast in terms of plot and character development and their relationship. And I also feel like there may be some inconsistencies in the characters.. I'm thinking about editing and making some changes. Please, let me know what you think! I need opinions!

_“Belle, baby, just stop this nonsense.. Marry me and we can forget any and all of this ever happened. I swear on my life, once you’re my wife, I will never harm you.” Gaston pleaded._

_Belle whimpered softly, ready to say no one last time, ready to die. Her wrists and shoulders ached from being tied up for so long. Her wounds irritated her even though Gaston had just cleaned them with antiseptic. “No Gaston… I won’t marry you.”_

_“Why don’t you love me?! Did you ever love me?!”_

_“I did… Just not in the way you wanted.. I loved you as a friend. You were so sweet, so nice-“_

_“I can be that man, Belle! I just need you to marry me and then I could give you anything and everything you want. I will be who you need me to be. But our fathers made a deal.. I can only inherit the business if you marry me.. Don’t you want to make your father proud?”_

_Belle sobbed. How could her father do this to her? The only time Belle was ever problematic was when she would rather stay home and read than go to his fancy gatherings. Sure, he was colder and more distant after her mother died, but she never thought he’d go this far as to controlling her future.. Letting these men torture her soul out._

_“Gaston, you may as well kill me.. I am never going to marry you.. Not after all of this.”_

_There was a pause as he stared Belle down. His cold gray eyes boring into her lifeless blue ones. “We’ll see.”_

_She cried herself to sleep. In her dreams she saw a man with light brown, sandy hair and dark blue eyes. Her guardian angel. “Wake up!” He whispered. Her eyes shot open but she was alone._

_And her ties had loosened in her sleep…_

XXXX

She felt him stroking her hair while she subtly tried to catch her breath. She was using his chest as a pillow, using the sound of his heartbeat to steady hers. “Everything alright?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She lied.

Her head hurt a bit. Maybe she should lay back on the whiskey and wine.

How was this supposed to work? She hadn’t forgiven him fully. She wondered if things could go back to how they were between them so soon. He was so warm, though. She cuddled closer into him, nuzzling her face into his chest and running her hands over his waist. “You sure, sweetheart?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I think I just need a drink.” Lacey attempted to sit up before she was pulled back down on the bed, hissing at the sudden pounding in her head. “What the fuck, Ronan?” She groaned.

Observing Lacey’s headache, he smirked. “Yeah, I think you need to lay off the alcohol, at least for a little bit.”

She glared at him. “Yeah, okay,” she said sarcastically. “When hell freezes over.”

He chuckled, “I’m serious Lace.. Don’t make me stop buying alcohol.”

“Ha! Yeah right, old man, you need whiskey just as much as I do.”

“Well fine, I’ll lock the whiskey in the liquor cabinet.”

She giggled. “Oh how cute. You do that and see how that works out.”

He raised an eyebrow and studied her face. “You can pick locks, can’t you?”

She nodded and got off the bed. Only in her bra and panties, he stared at her. The scars on her body were calling to him, begging to be touched and kissed until she forgot how much she hated them. She put a shirt on to hide herself, unnecessarily because her scars didn’t bother him. “So you’re a knife expert, you pick locks, and you drink like a sailor… How?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She winked at him. But there was something in Lacey’s eyes. Something deeper than the playful front she put on.

Ronan knew Lacey pretty well, though not as well he’d like. He learned a lot about Belle through background checks and records. Learning information about Lacey took a bit more effort and calls to the right people, but it was possible. For two years, after she escaped Gaston’s clutches, she was basically off the grid. Belle was dead. He presumed she spent that time recovering after such a traumatic ordeal. Then, after the two years, she was known to the world as Lacey. There wasn’t much to know about her. Lacey didn’t have a job. She lived off a small trust her mother set up that her father never knew about. That’s all Ronan had known about her before he actually got to know Lacey.

They tried not to talk their pasts. But some nights, when Lacey was feeling a bit like Belle, she would talk about her mother and the friends she had as Belle. Lacey had no friends, no family. She only has acquaintances… Or at least she used to.

Ronan, despite being the seemingly sane one in the relationship, actually shared very little. Lacey didn’t mind it at first. The more she knew about him, the more dangerous their fling became. It was easier knowing little about him. But that all went to hell. Now, she wanted to know about him. He knew more about her past than she knew of his- granted, he had more of a past given the age difference- but it still bugged her. There was too much power in him knowing so much, an imbalance that she needed to fix.

XXXX

Lacey was gasping and tightly grasping the silky threads of his hair. His head was between her thighs and he was eating her out rather voraciously. They were making up for all of the nights they went without each other. When Lacey came, it was with a rather vocal cry and her body shook until she relaxed and caught her breath. He kissed his way back up her body, lingering over a few scars. He always paid more attention to _worthless_ , as though he could make it go away if he kissed it enough. By the time he reached her face, her bones were liquid and her mind was gone. The only thing she registered was the residual taste of her on his tongue when he finally kissed her mouth.

They were in his bed naked and completely sated, sharing a cigarette when Lacey started to talk. It was always when she was naked and vulnerable in front of him that she actually got the courage to open up to him. “Lafayette used to burn me with cigarettes.” She inspected the dwindling cigarette in her hand. Ronan was a bit shocked to hear her talk about her trauma so out of the blue. He watched her intently as she studied the cigarette. “It was his favorite tactic- along with describing in vivid detail all of the things he would do to me if he was granted the opportunity to fuck me.”

Ronan could both see and hear the life leave Lacey. For any detail she confided with him, it was like she was losing a part of herself. Her voice became hollow, empty of any emotion and her eyes looked dead, like if there was no sign of life amidst the ocean blue of her eyes. It was just like when he made her break when he was in her basement. But he noticed that every time she talked to him about it, once she gradually but surely came back into herself, she was brighter. She would smile and laugh a bit more, just a bit. But it was still just as lovely. Her eyes would become full of a life and energy that was probably an attribute of the girl she had been before, of Belle.

And he wanted that. Not for her to be Belle, but for her to be bright. Because no matter how hard Lacey liked to believe she was darkness, he knew there was something more in her, something better but she refused to believe it. More importantly, however, every time she opened up, it brought them closer. And he needed Lacey close given how fragile things still were between them.

“So why do you smoke?” He asked her, trying not to let his anger at Lafayette get too bad. After all, the man got what he deserved in the end.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I didn’t at first. I was too scared. They reminded me of all that I was trying to forget. But then it became one of those _face your fear_ type of things. Every time I hold a cigarette in my hand, it’s a reminder that I got out and I’m never fucking going back.”

She took a drag and he just observed her. Lacey didn’t understand her resilience, it was yet another thing she couldn’t comprehend, but he did.

Lacey talked more about the things that happened to her and the other men responsible for her pain. There was a Kyle, who would usually just watch while one of the others tried to break her, occasionally joining in on the mutilation and the beatings. But when they were left alone, he liked to fantasize she was his girlfriend because he was too socially awkward to get a real one. Biting was his thing. Once, Gaston had walked in on him on top of her. She was in her undergarments and Kyle was grinding against her leg while biting her neck. Gaston threw a fit and beat the crap out of him for attempting to take what was his. Then there was a Charlie, he got off by watching and suggesting different ways to make Belle scream. He’s the one who suggested and taught branding to Gaston as a way of humiliating her and it was so intense the first time, she passed out. Lastly, there was a Mark. He loved anatomy. He knew exactly where to cut and how deep to go without killing her. They once had her strapped to the table on her stomach and cut her back, slicing until she could no longer scream.

All of these men had their turns with her. There were other men who came and went but they never touched her. Gaston hired them to keep an eye out on her when he had to go somewhere or to make sure no one stumbled upon the house by accident and found out about what was going on there. They were just security.

Gaston was selfish, though. Excluding that incident with Kyle, he didn’t let either of them torture Belle without him being present or without his assistance. And when they did torture her, it was always supposed to be for business. Their goal was to break her into submission, to make her say yes to his proposal, and if they happened to release their sadistic urges then so be it.

But that was the real reason they tortured her. They all knew that hurting Belle was only to release their sadistic urges. But by calling it business, it made it more acceptable, made it look like they were just doing it for the money and not because they were just a bunch of sick fucks who could only get off when inflicting pain on others.

Ronan had to fight the urge to just head over to every single one of those bastards’ houses and kill them with his bare hands. The more he learned about her time there, the more he wanted to kill, the more he wanted blood. But they needed to be strategic about this. They had to be smart.

Lacey didn’t shed a single tear. She simply finished off the cigarette and lied there in her emptiness. He held her for a long time while she lost herself in her own head. He had to let her process it as much as he needed to. Gradually, he could feel her coming back to him. It was in her body language. She was more relaxed, running her fingers over his chest and cuddling into him, as if to ensure that he was real. As if to make sure he was her anchor and not just some figment of imagination or a dream.

Finally, she came back to him fully. With a deep breath, she released all of the negative energy those memories brought back to her- just like Dr. Hopper taught her.

“Tell me about your son.” She requested softly and immediately felt him stiffen.

There was a slight, hesitant pause. “There isn’t much to say. I lost him, that’s it.”

Lacey was intent on learning more about Ronan. She didn’t want him to worm his way out of her question.  “Well, how did you lose him?”

Ronan sighed heavily and almost resignedly as he loosened his hold on her. “Look, Lacey, I’d rather not talk about this right now. It’s late and I’m tired.”

With a huff of frustration, Lacey slipped out of bed and quickly put on her underwear and her old Manson t-shirt.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” He asked hurriedly.

“To bed.” She replied bitterly and was halfway to the door when he spoke.

“Then, come back to bed.”

She rolled her eyes. “In MY room.. By myself.”

His voice stopped her from moving again. “Wait, Lace! I’m sorry.. I really am.. Please, come back.”

“No, Ronan. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep talking to you about this shit and giving you a piece of myself each time I do because I get nothing back! You’re a fucking hypocrite, telling me I need to talk about my issues when you need to talk about yours-“

“It just hurts to talk about.” He interjected.

She gave him an incredulous, slightly condescending look. “Oh, because talking about my trauma is such a fucking breeze, right?! Of course it fucking hurts! That’s why these shits haunt us, because they’re too damn painful to talk about so we just live with it.” She sighed and shook her head. “You know what? If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. I won’t force you. But, like I said, I can’t keep doing this.. You know so much about me. No one, not even Dr. Hopper, knows what you know. I just wanted to learn more about you and who you are but if you don’t want me to, it’s fine.”

“Lace, please-“

“Actually, I’m tired too now. Good night.” She was out the door before he even had a chance to put on his boxers and go after her.

“Lacey!... Lacey!” He called after her but she was gone.

He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. “Fuck!” He shouted and flung his glass ashtray at the wall, shattering it to pieces.

Why was he such an idiot? Things were just getting better between him and Lacey. She had opened up to him! Once again, she had put it on the line and he went and pissed all over it. He was a coward. That’s all he was in the end.

Lacey was right to want to know about him. He did know more about her than she knew about him. It was only fair. But it was too hard to talk about Bae. It had been years since his boy died but he couldn’t talk about him.  He just couldn’t.

Lacey was a lot stronger than she believed herself to be. For her to be able to talk about something as painful as the torture she had to endure, well, that was more strength than he could ever fathom. He was weak.. So fucking weak.

XXXX

Lacey did what she did best. She drank and avoided the fuck out of him. It wasn’t as bad as last time though. She was eating and talking to Ashley. She basically talked to everyone except him. He missed her yet again.

It was a pretty bad night for Lacey. She wasn’t sleeping much (big surprise) and she missed him too. As of late, sleeping alone was hard. But when she finally managed to fall asleep, it was bad. The nightmare was real, too real. She could feel Gaston on top of her, smell his breath. She felt the sharp sting of his knife digging into her skin, her body shook in pain. _“I’m back, my Belle.. You thought you could fool me and play dead but I’m back. And we’re gonna have so much fun.”_

She woke up screaming at the top of her lungs. Her hair was stuck to her face due to sweat. Her heart beat was raging. She lied against the pillows and sobbed. She was okay and he wasn’t here but she swore she could still smell him. Lacey shook and gasped for breath, feeling violated and scared.

“Lacey! Open up!” Ronan banged on the door.

But Lacey was too distraught to get up. She only curled up into herself for some comfort.

He kept knocking. “Sweetheart, I know you’re mad at me but at least say something so I know you’re alright.”

He was met with silence at first. “I’m okay.” She croaked. “I’m okay.” Lacey began whispering repeatedly to herself. “I’m okay.. I’m okay..”

He almost broke the door down to see her but thought against it. “Was it a nightmare? Or do I have to shoot someone?”

“Nightmare.” She notified him.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, secretly hopeful that she would. Ronan wanted Lacey to come to him, to need him as much as he needed her.

She hesitated to respond again. She wanted to say yes and wanted him to hold her, comfort her like he always did. But then she'd open up again. “No… Thanks.”

He sighed and swallowed the lump in his throat. It hurt but he deserved it. It’s exactly what she felt when he wouldn’t confide in her. Yeah, he understood now.

“Well, I’m here if you do.”

He walked away, back into his room where he would sleep alone and where he wouldn’t be comforting Lacey. He wouldn’t stroke her hair and whisper words of comfort in her ear. It wasn’t until he lied in his bed and stroked the side she usually slept on- the side that still smelled like her- that he found he had never missed a woman like he missed Lacey. It all felt incomplete, even more incomplete than it already was without Bae. He was helpless. It felt like he was simultaneously _about_ to be in danger and already _in_ danger.

XXXX

It was four in the morning when he found her in the dining room, sitting on a stool at the bar nursing her third cup of whiskey. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and she was extra pale.

“The nightmares keep me up.” She said aloud. He didn’t realize she had noticed him standing behind her.

He didn’t know what to say. Nothing that would help, at least. “I can make you tea..” He offered lamely.

Lacey turned and smirked at the man, admiring his attempt to cheer her up. She raised her glass. “No thanks. This is all the tea I need.”

“You, uh, you want to talk about the nightmares?” Ronan asked cautiously. Lacey was fragile in this moment, it was obvious through her movements and her eyes.

“No need. It’s the same fucking crap it always is.” Her speech was slurred slightly and her movements were too fluid.

This was the first time they'd been in the same room since a few days ago, when he shut her out. It was a two-way streak. He wanted to shut her out, she'd shut him out as well, ten times harder. Just like she did when he decided to deal with Lafayette without her. Now here he was, wanting to talk to her. He always wanted her to talk about herself. They never talked about him. Well, fuck him if he thinks she’s going to let him in just because she needs him. Lacey had never needed anyone before. She'd live without him holding her for now. If she wasn’t worthy of his secrets, then he wasn’t worthy of hers.

He spoke up when Lace gulped down the rest of her whiskey.

“Lace, I-“

“I’m going to bed.” She interrupted before he could say whatever bullshit he was going to say.

Her anger at him seemed to be growing with every second that passed. Maybe because she was drunk. She hadn’t been that mad at first. She was more upset. But now that she had whiskey in her system, it was manifesting itself as anger. And she had to get away from him because the last time she’d been angry at him, she fucked him.

She was out of the room faster than he could think of what to say to keep her there. This had to stop.

XXXX

“Lacey, wake up!” Ashley yelled as she jumped on her bed.

Lacey’s head was pounding as though someone were taking a jackhammer to the inside of her skull. “What the fuck do you want?!” She groaned into her pillow. “What fucking time is it?!”

“It’s three p.m.” She answered nonchalantly and sprawled out on Lacey’s luxurious silk sheets. “Man, this is one comfortable bed. Maybe I should have slept with Gold.. You know, before the kids.”

“What-do-you-want?” She asked one last time.

Ashley turned on her side, facing Lacey. “I need you to talk to Gold.”

“What the fuck for?! No thanks.”

“Come on, Lacey, I know you miss him. He misses you too.”

“He probably misses the sex more like.” She reasoned.

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Honey, you know that's not true. Please, you guys had just made up! I don't know what idiotic thing the boss man said or did to make you mad at him, but you guys need to talk it out. He’s lonely and miserable and it’s torture.”

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad for him.”

Ashley's widened in disbelief. “Not for him- ME! I swear, Lace, if I have to put up with another ten minutes of “how is she? What did she say? Does she talk about me?” I am going to quit or kill myself.” The blonde exaggerated.

Lacey glared at her, “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“Of course not! But I’m pretty fucking close if you don’t go and resolve this.”

Lacey forgot about her hangover when she quickly sat upright in indignation, wincing at the pain shooting through her head. “I have to resolve this?! He’s the one who won’t talk to me. The one who shut _me_ out when I opened up to him. He doesn’t think I’m important enough to confide in.. And.. I think he’s right. Maybe I don’t deserve to know that part of him.”

Ashley’s pitch raised slightly. “What the fuck are you talking about? One, you _both_ have a habit of shutting everyone out, that’s why you two get along _so_ well,” She said sarcastically, “And two, I know he’s the one who fucked up. But he’s lost. He doesn’t know how to open up and he’s scared to talk about it. He’s kept his shit to himself for so long that it just lies dormant for the most part. And I’m sure he’s afraid that talking will reopen old, calloused wounds. I’ve worked with him for years and I have never seen him like this. If that doesn’t mean you’re important to him, I don’t know what does.”

Lacey sighed. So _she_ was supposed to be the bigger person? That wasn’t really in her nature. She was stubborn to a fault, at times. But in his defense, he tried to talk to her last night and she brushed him off. That probably made them even. “So how am I supposed to do this, Ash?”

She gave Lacey a sympathetic look. “I don’t know, hon. Do you forgive him?”

She considered that. It’s not like he meant for any of this to happen. How was he supposed to know Lacey wanted him to open up? And it had been such a spur of the moment question, he probably wasn’t prepared to answer it.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, start there. Maybe that'll take you where you need to go.”

Lacey gave Ashley a rare warm smile. “Thanks, Ash.”

“No thank YOU! You’re really helping a bitch out. Mr. Gold is very stubborn and powerful so when he comes to you like a teenage boy asking about a girl, it gets annoying, especially when your entire income relies on him so you _have_ to put up with him.”

There was a knock at the door. “This room isn’t wired, is it?” Ashley asked, looking around the room with a worried expression.

“Relax.” Lacey chuckled. “That’s not him. I know his knock.”

Lacey opened the door. Graham stood there with a small, square gift box. “What’s this?” She asked the handsome security man.

“It’s from him.”

She grabbed the box and sat on the edge of the bed, Ashley and Graham hovered around her in anticipation as to what the gift was.  They were breathing on her neck.  “You guys?”

“Sorry.” They muttered in unison and gave her some space.

“Open it!” Ashley was more excited than she was.

It was obviously some sort of jewelry. That much was evident from the velvet box. She opened the box to reveal a pendant- a magnificent blue gemstone surrounded by two rows of small diamonds. “Oh my god.” She awed under her breath.

“That’s- wow.” Ashley was apparently as speechless as Lacey. Even Graham was staring wide-eyed.

At least now she had a conversation starter..

XXXX

Lacey marched into his office. He was surprised at her appearance, although he shouldn’t have been. He knew damn well what he did. She wore her hair in a messy, loose bun. Her jeans were tight but her low-cut shirt was loose. He couldn’t help but notice the beautiful fire in her eyes when she spoke, or yelled. “What the hell is this?” She slammed the box down on his desk. “Are you trying to buy my forgiveness?”

“That depends.. Did it work?” He asked, placing his hands in front of him, waiting for an answer.

She glanced at the box, then back at him. “Almost, but not quite.”

He smirked. “It was worth a shot. It’s just my way of saying I’m sorry, and you’re right. I am a hypocrite. And I’m a coward. I’m afraid of talking about my past because that means confronting it.”

“I get it. It was wrong of me to give you that ultimatum, so for that I’m sorry. You weren’t ready for that, and it’s not as though I really have a right to know. That’s your business, not mine. I guess I was just starting to feel closer, more vulnerable around you, so I needed to know more about you to balance the scales. I’m not used to being close to people anymore. So being close to you, it scares me.” She admitted.

Ronan took in all that Lacey was admitting to him, yet again inadvertently opening up to him. And she was speaking as though she wasn’t important, or significant. When was she going to realize that she was? “Lacey, sweetheart, you do have a right to know about me. Especially after all you’ve told me. Your bravery astounds me. I want to tell you about my life and how I got here. And I promise, I will, but you need to know that you’re important to me. Don’t think that you’re not.”

He moved so that he was standing right in front of her. Lacey could feel threatening tears in her eyes. She hated him for always making her cry. She hated crying. He grabbed the necklace from its box and held it in his hands. “I bought you this to complement the color of your eyes. And to show how sorry I was for being such an arse. May I?” He wanted to put it on her. She wasn’t sure though. It looked expensive as hell. Although, saying no would mean having to speak up and she was incapable of that at the moment so she nodded her assent.

His touch was so gentle and warm as he placed the pendant around her neck. She could smell his cologne and feel his body heat around her. They had both been longing for each other and now they were in intimate territory. When the chain was secure around her neck, he pulled away just enough so he could look at the deep blue pendant hanging lowly on her chest, one hand still rested on her neck. “Incredible.” He whispered and couldn’t resist kissing her. This one was slow, and so intimate it was like she could feel his emotions flow through her. Her mind was fogged with pleasure and contentment. She didn’t want it to end and whimpered when he pulled away, just a bit. His breath was still on her lips.

“Lacey, I love you.” He confessed. He didn’t know what drove him to say it, but he did and there was no coming back from it. Ronan loved Lacey. He loved her and even though it scared him, there was no denying it. She was ice cold and uncontrollable fire all at once and he loved it. She had come into his life like a lost soldier searching for their sanity and wound her way in his heart like an ever-growing vine with her light and her darkness. Not being with her was painful. That’s how he knew he was screwed.

It was as though the fog in Lacey’s mind had been sucked into this dark vortex, as though it had never even been there. She broke out of his hold on her and shook her head. “What? No! Y-you can’t!”

“Why not?” He questioned, his heart slowly being crushed by the grip she had on it.

Tears flowed freely now. “Because, I- I’m a monster! I tried to kill you, Ronan. You killed a man because of me! You can’t love me! No one- no one- can ever, ever love me!” She shouted.

Her denial was killing him. “But I do.” He choked. “I didn’t kill a man because of you, I killed a man _for_ you. There’s a difference. And you’re not a monster, Lace, you’re just scared. It’s easier to believe that no one could love you than to believe that someone actually could, trust me, I know. If you don’t love me, that’s fine, I can live with that, but I love you. For the first time, since Bae died, I have someone worth protecting, someone I would kill for, and someone who makes me happy.”

Lacey was finding all the reasons he couldn’t love her, reasons he shouldn’t. There were so many, it seemed. “No, it’s just the deal-“

“Fuck the deal. What I feel for you hasn’t been about the deal for a long time. I could list all kinds of reasons for why I love you but I shouldn’t have to. It shouldn’t be so hard to believe.”

“Yes, it should and it is. Everyone I have ever loved has either died, left me, or betrayed me!” She lifted her shirt up, revealing her scars. “ _This_ is what the people I love let happen to me. _This_ is how the world sees me! So don’t.. Please, Ronan, don’t.”  She started pleading in a whisper.

Don’t love her. He knew that’s what she was begging him to do. Because he was right. It was hell of a lot easier to think that love wasn’t on the table for her. But he was just as stubborn as her so she wasn’t going to tell him who he shouldn’t love. And he wasn’t going to believe that she was so far gone because he knew Lacey had love in her heart. He could see it in her eyes when she smiled, when she laughed, and when she talked about books.

“Tell me you don’t love me.” He requested solemnly.

She was taken aback by his request. “What?” She asked, looking up at him confusedly, her watery blue eyes staring painfully into his. His eyes were just as watery as hers. He was willing himself to not let tears fall.

He released a shakey sigh, steeling himself for the pain she was about to put him through. “Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t love me, Lacey. Then I’ll let you go.”

“Let me go?”

He nodded. “Just like you wanted before, sweetheart. We’ll forget about the deal.” He swallowed hard, “Forget about us.”

She wanted to, she really fucking wanted to say it. It’d be easier on the both of them, really. But Lacey wasn’t a liar. She was just a concealer of truths, a liar by omission like Ronan. So she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t look into his sad eyes and say it. To say she loved him would be the scariest thing she ever did, to say she didn’t would be a fucking lie. “Ronan-“ She said his name in a plea. No other words were coming out of her. She shook her head and he placed his hand on the pendant he had just gifted her.

“I love you, Lacey. I can’t help it.” He stroked the soft skin of her neck and her eyes closed at his warm touch. “I found the balance. The balance between the monster and the man, I found it in you.”

She could feel a bout of sobs coming, fighting their way up her throat. She was his balance- the way he could win the war between the monster and the man and then she saw it clearly. All of the things she had seen and felt with him flooded her mind. How it was hard to sleep without him and how he made her laugh and how when she was around him, everything seemed like it was okay. Her life, as shitty as it was, was a lot better with Ronan in it. This was him opening up to her, him letting her in. “I-I found it too!” She whispered before the sobs broke through. He held her and she clung to him like a lifeline. Sobbing into his suit while his hands rubbed up and down her back. He softly shushed her and his hands started to creep up her shirt, feeling the raised tissue he was met with and caressing it with his fingers. It wasn’t seductive, it was sensual and full of love and she hadn’t known a loving touch since her mother died.

He took her shirt off to give him more access to the body she usually kept hidden. He kissed her neck and lifted her on the desk and kissed down her body. Her sobs began to subside into small gasps but tears still fell. He placed small lingering kisses all over her chest and torso and wherever he could reach. Lacey let it happen. She let it all happen. She accepted his affections and accepted his love. It was so new to Lacey. Belle had been loved by her mother and even her father at some point. But being loved, really loved, was new to Lacey.

He took her to bed, but they didn’t have sex. He simply held Lacey, the woman he loved, and they talked about small things and kissed and he had opened up to her. Aside from admitting his love to her, he also told her about his life in Scotland.

His father was never around and died of alcoholism when Gold was in his late teens. He went to school and became involved as a lightweight boxer in an underground fighting ring to pay it off. In Scotland, he realized the only way he would be successful was by breaking a few laws and gaining as much power as possible.

He earned his masters in contract law and a B.A. in business. His rise to power started off small. Using his expertise to defend criminals until he finally became one. He had developed a certain clientele and a notorious reputation when he decided to move to the states to further expand his business and to invest in other businesses.

It was a hard life, working his way from the bottom and fighting for his way to the top. He had seen some bad things, lost some friends, and became involved with the wrong people. He went from defending monsters to becoming one and that was a tedious journey in which both he and his loved ones paid the price.

Ronan hadn’t talked about Bae. Not yet. And Lacey was fine with that. She just wanted to know more about Ronan and what his life was like before her. Learning about Bae could wait until he was ready.

They fell asleep later that night. Everything seemed lighter between them, content. As Lacey slept on her side and Ronan was spooned behind her, his arm encircling her waist, neither had any idea of the storm that was yet to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment! Let me know what you think and what you'd like to see happen. Sometimes, I just need some creative help or constructive criticism to motivate me. Thanks, guys!


	11. Welcome to the world, Lacey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan has a meeting concerning Lacey. We learn more about Lacey's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like it's been a while since I last updated. I'm trying to be more consistent but I'm not even kidding, I have like 6 fics in the works guy.. I'm fucking screwed. But I'm on Summer break so maybe I'll get to them all! Enjoy (:

The box was a beautiful mahogany with a red ribbon on top. Her stare was fixed on it. “Ronan, what is this? I thought I forgave you already.”

“I know, but I couldn’t resist. Open it.”

Ronan gazed at her in her red dress. They had just come back from dinner and she had sprawled out on his bed, completely satisfied with her evening. She was full on chicken, ice cream, and wine. He had lavished her with food, wine, and all kinds of little luxuries as a sort of apology for all of the crap he had put her through lately.

She opened the box and stopped breathing for a second. Lying in the red velvet lining of the box was a beautiful set of black, stainless steel throwing knives that made her eyes water and her heart swell. The fixed, plain edged, 3 and a half inch blade was engraved with roses, much like her lighter, from the steel handle to the sharp, spear pointed tip. “Oh, Ronan,” she awed, barely above a whisper, “they’re absolutely beautiful. How did you-“

“I know you’re pretty handy with a knife so I had these custom made. I know roses are your favorite and it matches your lighter so… Do you like it?”

Her watery eyes should have been answer enough. “I- I love it!” Lacey set the box down and jumped him, kissing the breath out of him. It had surprised him but he quickly recovered and kissed her back with vigor. They had already fucked earlier that day but Lacey figured she could go for more.  She started to loosen his tie when he pulled away. “Sweetheart, as much as I would love to do this again, I have a meeting soon.”

She groaned but didn’t move off of him. “Tonight?”

“In about half an hour, actually.”

“But it’s 8 in the evening! Don’t you old people have like a curfew or something?” She teased, running her hands up and down the fabric of his dress shirt.

“I’ll remember that the next time it’s 2 in the morning and you decide you want sex.”

Lacey laughed. “I’m just kidding! But what if we make it quick? Please..” She purred into his ear.

He almost gave in when she took his earlobe between her lips. But this meeting was crucial. “Sorry, love. This meeting is rather important. But I shouldn’t be long.”

She got off of him and flopped back down on the bed, purposely not caring that her dress had ridden up. “That’s what you said last time and I ended up having to get myself off.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, and moved on top of her, kissing her neck. “Oh, what a tragedy that must have been.”

Lacey’s breath hitched when he sucked on a sensitive part on her neck and his hand slowly moved up her thigh. “You’re a cruel man, Ronan Gold.” She said nearly breathless.

“Aye. But don’t act like you don’t love it.” His accent thickened and his voice dropped. Lacey let out a loud moan when he cupped her core, he also moaned softly at how hot and wet she was.

“You ass,” Lacey rasped, “Don’t start what you can’t finish.”

He smirked and moved away from her. “My apologies.”

She released a breath of relief and sat up, watching him put on his black suit jacket and coat. “On the bright side, you can get acquainted with your knives.”

Lacey stood up and walked towards him and then turned her back. “Unzip, please.”

“What for?” He asked curiously.

“If you’re not going to fuck me, I want to at least be comfortable while I’m left alone.”

He unzipped her and stroked her back while her dress pooled to the floor, revealing her creamy, scarred skin and her red laced undergarments. “You- you’ll be up when I get back right?”

Lacey giggled and turned to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing her half naked body against him. “I might be.” She gave him one kiss on the lips and walked away. He immediately longed for her warmth to be pressed against him once more. “Get going old, man.” She requested while she put on one of her band t-shirts. “The faster you go, the faster you can come back.”

He was gone once his coat was on and his tie was fixed.

Lacey lied in his bed and marveled at her knives. Along with the necklace he gifted her, this set was now her most prized possession.

XXXX

“Why didn’t you bring sweet thing?” Jefferson asked disappointedly.

Gold rolled his eyes. “Don’t call her that. And the last time you two were in a room together, you proposed. Plus, we have a deal. I track them down and acquire them, she deals with them in whatever way she wishes.”

Jefferson sighed and looked dreamily into space, “I love her.”

Gold sipped his whiskey and glared at Jefferson. “She’s mine, dearie. And I don’t think you’d be able to handle her. You’re better off pining over Graham or anyone else.”

He mumbled, “If you can handle her, I definitely can.”

“What did you say, dearie?” He asked threateningly.

Jefferson, as harmless as he was to Gold, had a knack for testing his patience. He was a good friend but he was twisted, and he seemed to think he found his twisted match in Lacey.

“I didn’t say anything.” He feigned confusion. “So why did you call this meeting?”

“We need to plan.”

“Plan what?”

“You’ll find out when the others get here.”

XXXX

The plan was set. They were going to apprehend them one by one. They’d go for the most vulnerable and work their way up to Gaston. He was the most guarded one, the most protected. The one that would be the most satisfying to isolate and kill.

When he arrived home, it was two in the morning. Lacey was sprawled out in his bed, still in her underwear and sleeping peacefully. An empty wine bottle laid on his nightstand, right beside the mahogany box of knives.

He stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and curled up beside her. She stirred a bit. “ _I shouldn’t be long_ , my ass.” She mumbled sleepily.

“I know, I’m sorry. You can murder me in the morning.” He joked and held her tight.

She chuckled and turned to face him. “How was your meeting?”

“Good... It actually had to do with you. I’ve secured the help and information we’ll need to take _him_ down.” He said with trepidation.

There was a pause. “Wait a minute, you’re meeting involved _me_ and you never thought to mention that?”

He hesitated. It wouldn’t do to argue again, they had finally recovered from their last fight. “I know I shouldn’t have done that but if I’d have told you, you would have wanted to go and I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Right, silly me for wanting to go to a meeting that had to do with me. What the fuck am I thinking?”

“Look, some of the people that are going to be involved in this are misogynists who wouldn’t take you seriously, but they’re crucial to getting this done. If I told them I was letting you, a young woman, call the shots they wouldn’t have helped.”

She scoffed, “Your men didn’t seem to have trouble with it when I was in shorts wielding a knife.”

“It’s not my guys, Lace. My guys love you. Trust me, I think Jefferson is planning the names of your children. But we’re going to need outside help and some outside help is a bit more old-fashioned. I have a judge friend who would have laughed in my face if I’d had you there. Plus, they don’t really know you. How could they trust you? As far as they’re concerned, you’ve hired me to seek your revenge.”

Lacey was in disbelief. Ronan lied there and listened to her five minute feminist rant about how misogynists like them were the reason she was seeking her revenge. He apologized profusely and she was still a bit irked but she stayed in bed, at least.

“Do your men really love me?” She suddenly asked, interestedly.

He scowled. “Don’t sound _too_ pleased.”

She giggled and grinned, “What do you think Jefferson is naming our children?”

“Shut up.”

XXXX

_Belle wore a blue sweater and jeans. Her hood was up as she tried to remain as inconspicuous and invisible as possible. Her hands shook when she tried unlock the door but eventually she entered the dingy motel room with a small bag of groceries and first aid supplies. Fear was her only companion, haunting her every move. Only two weeks before, she escaped Gaston’s confines and was now laying low until she could figure out what to do with herself._

_“Don’t scream.” A voice commanded._

_The groceries fell on the floor and she yelped, her heart beating out of its chest so hard she was sure she’d explode. A man stepped out of the corner in a green hoodie, he had sandy brown hair and blue eyes. The man from the woods, the one who let her escape through the lake._

_“Please, don’t take me back! I’ll do anything! Please!” She begged and cried, feeling as though she were going to faint and vomit._

_“I’m not here to take you back.” He assured in a soft, comforting voice._

_“You’re- you’re not?” She asked skeptically, while slowly reaching for her burner phone._

_“No, I’m not so you can stop reaching for your phone.”_

_Well, that plan was out the window._

_“You’re name is Belle, right?” She nodded. “I’m Robin. I assume you remember me?”_

_“Of course, I do, now what do you want?” She was hostile, rightfully so._

_He pointed to her mangy bed where a red duffle bag laid in the center. “I want to help you, Belle.”_

_This could be a trick. He worked with Gaston. What if this was a sick trick to take her back? “Why do you want to help me?”_

_“I’m not like them,” he explained, “when Gaston hired me, it was to protect his property and merchandise. I didn’t know the merchandise was a person until it was almost too late.” She was still too skeptic. Her arms were crossed and she stood stiff. “I’m the one who loosened your ties. They couldn’t know I helped you escape so I loosened them and hoped you’d have the sense to run.”_

_The blue eyes, the sandy brown hair, her guardian angel. It made sense. She relaxed slightly. “So h-how do you want to help me?”_

_He took a seat at the edge of the bed. “I’m a crook of sorts. My specialty is thievery and tracking people down but occasionally, I’m hired for protection detail. Oh, and I can work the hell out of a bow and arrow.” He smirked slyly and it faltered into something grave. “I know what they did to you, Belle, how they hurt you. Look in the bag.”_

_She approached the bed cautiously and opened the bag. There were a couple wads of cash, some clothes, and a hand gun._

_“I want you to come with me. I can help you hide, it was almost too easy finding you. And you can learn how to fight, how to use weapons. I’ll train you. You’ll no longer have to fear being attacked when you know you can fight back.”_

_He had her at ‘learn how to fight’. She didn’t want to be weak anymore. She was a happy girl once. If she’d known how to fight, if she were strong enough to fight off Gaston, she probably could have stayed that happy girl, or at least not have been so helpless. Now, she was emptiness. All she had were scars and a thirst for vengeance. “Okay, I’ll do it.”_

_“Are you sure? It’s going to take a lot of excruciating pain. It’ll exhaust you, physically and mentally.”_

_“As opposed to what I went through?” She asked bitterly. “I can do it. I can take it.”_

_He smiled charmingly. “I knew you could. First order of business, we need to get you a new identity. As far as the world knows, Belle French is dead. She died in that lake. So, what shall your new name be?”_

_So much changed in such a short amount of time. But it all made sense. She wasn’t the girl she was before and she never would be. Belle is dead. She was someone else. Someone who had the power to make her own fate. She had freedom now, it came at a great cost to her but it was in her hands. She could be a renegade, drinking and sleeping her pain away without a care of what’s proper. Use and be used, her new motto. No one would be safe around her. She would destroy anyone who tried to hurt her and those who already had hurt her. She would be darkness and death. “Lacey… My new name is Lacey.” She introduced with a wicked smile._

_He stood up and held his hand out for her to shake. “Welcome to the world, Lacey.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to comment!


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